Your ex is part of your past. And a lot of people will tell you to leave your past behind you. In fact, I’m a strong advocate of that practice. But the truth is, there are a lot of things you need to say to your ex before you leave your past in the past.

1- “We’re never getting back together”5a7c02c0-a409-0132-a2dd-0e6808eb79bf

Letting them know straight out that there’s no hope for you two in the future will save you a lot of trouble later on. And it will let him know not to pursue you or to try and reconcile things. This statement is just a clear red stop sign.

2- “I really didn’t appreciate the way….”bae3bfadcbe7f1fd771c9e00ee1aae9d

If you’ve got some baggage from the relationship, like how you didn’t like the way he spoke to your friends, now is the time to let him know. You don’t need to hold on to that negativity anymore if you’re going to break up with the person.

3- “Thank you”house-whatistheoppositeofthankyou_zps8e560ed7

A relationship teaches us a lot of things like compassion, sacrifice and kindness even. And if it doesn’t teach you all those nice things, it sure as hell teaches you the kind of person you never want to date again. So, be sure to thank your ex for all they’ve taught you.

4- “We can/can’t be friends”gif_700x392_24807a

I leave this to your discretion. Some people think you can be friends with an ex. Others believe you should leave the past in the past. It’s up to you to decide how you want this relationship to end/continue.

5- “You need to take your stuff back” tumblr_ly3zx9sawh1qb0q9io1_400

Having stuff around, like gifts or their shirts and jackets, is not a good memory to keep. Discarding these things will keep you from lapsing into nostalgia. But if you happen to think their hoodie looks better on you, you can keep it. It won’t hurt 😀

6- “You need to be more… with the next person you date”200_s

Letting them know how they need to be with the next person they decide to date is a good way to help your ex avoid another disaster with someone else. Like I said before, relationships teach us things, so be sure they really get the lesson out of it!

7- “Sorry”large-7_zpsb51iobjf

We’re not perfect; sometimes we make mistakes too. And it’s important to own up to them. If you don’t feel like you need to apologise, then don’t. But you can also let them know that you’re sorry they’ll never find someone as awesome as you!

8- “Goodbye” tumblr_o69p18zpf61uea2edo1_500

A breakup is a goodbye. Even if you decide to remain friends, a breakup is just a departure from all the times when you guys were together. And like all departures, you need to say so long before you can go.

Making sure you say at least one of these things is your first step to getting the closure you need.