This is Gondy Moganad Ahmed Hicham reporting to you from “MARKAZ EL TADREEB”. I’m writing this article to tell you about the different types of fellow soldiers I came across during my service at the army.

I cannot deny the fact that I expected my time at the army to be the worst days of my life. I spent 23 days where I met a lot of new types of friends; that genre of people who would never let you go no matter what! DAYSEEN MA3AK FE AY MOSIBA! Some of them are the kindest and purest souls I’ve ever seen in my entire life. They were the reason my stay at the army training base didn’t turn out to be so bad after all.

1. Ebn el Nas El Kowayessin “El matny”: that’s what they call him over there”

He has wipes (Dettol tab3an), Fresh Buzz (Portable Shatafa), a very expensive after shave and lots of pocket money. He doesn’t care about the salary he gets from the army.

2- Ebn El Lewa

That’s how people refer to the privileged ones who come highly advantaged with ” kossa aka. wasta te2ila awi” .

3- El Menoufy

Refers to “El manayfa aka. a7bab allah”. The first question we were asked upon our arrival to markaz el tadreeb was “Meen fiko menoufy?” Mesh 3ayez a2oloko kan merta7 ezay! (NOT).

4- El Se3idy

This one is my favourite, el se3idy, abo dam 7amy. 90% of them end up in jail because they hate to be humiliated or cursed by their superiors; something which is highly likely during your army service.

5- The Homosexual

No caption needed.

6- The Sick

That one person we always wonder how he got in? Who allowed this case to serve in the army? The guy is sick and can’t even hold a weapon or unbutton his suit! We help him do everything because he’s too weak and ill to do it on his own. Those people are the main reason we hate “Dakatret el geish”.

7- The One Without Any Wasta

You’ll find this person always praying not to get assigned to high-risk zones like Sinai or El 3arish! He doesn’t want to get killed by Da3esh or el gama3at el eslameya there. Everytime you ask him “hatetwaza3 fen?” You’ll usually get ONE answer “Rabena yostor, kher isa” w da aghlab men el gholb.

8- El 7aked “aka. Menoufy”

DO NOT DISCLOSE YOUR WASTA TO THESE PEOPLE! hatetreze3 3en mesh hat2oom menha! Di nasi7a akhaweya.

9- The Anonymous “El Kossa El Te2ila AWIIIII”

His name is rarely known, shows up the first day to take his (Mekhla) and BOOOMMM he disappears! Where? His place, his bed? Adios Amigo!