Alexandria Checklist

Contrary to popular belief, being from a certain province or city doesn’t really mean you’re really from that city or province. You know it, you’ve said it in many direct and indirect “how does so-and-so call themselves an Egyptian when they haven’t done/seen/went to…etc.”.

Today, we’re talking about a special province, though. A province many, many, many people like to visit on the hopeful-magical winter nights — Alexandria.

Let us just tell you this. According to Twitter, being an Alexandrian comes with terms and conditions.

Living in Alexandria doesn’t make you an Alexandrian

Case in point here. So, you live in Alexandria, where you also go to work or to school. You might even have family here. Guess what, though? This doesn’t mean you’re one of its people.

See, apparently, to be a certified Alexandrian, you have to trace back your Alexandrian roots to four generations or, preferably, more.

You have to have enough Alexandrian pride

A widely known fact is that kids in Alexandria know they’re Alexandrian before they know the name of their country. And this is the mindset you have to keep up with, mind you.

This sense of pride has to come in every breath you take and every era you live. It has to become you, in a sense.

No stereotypical swears

Since we’ve all been raised on a healthy diet of Egyptian TV shows, we’ve all heard a ‘wel Morsy Abo El-Abbas‘ or two. That’s not at all how Alexandrians swear, though, and if you’re one then you already know.

Limitless a7eh’s

If you’re Alexandrian, then congratulations. You’ve reached the promised land and unlocked the right to use ‘a7eh‘ as many times as humanly possible and no one can say a single word about that.

Understanding the politics behind a good ‘ayooh’ is a must

One thing that Alexandrians say that TV shows got right is ‘ayooh‘. Here’s the thing, though. Ayooh’s are never said the way they’re said on TV.

Ayooh isn’t said in a long, drawn-out syllable that’s disturbing and noisy all at once. No, ayooh is said in a questioning tone and short syllable that’s not drawn out at all.

Telling real ‘kebda eskandarany’ from miles away

If you’re Alexandrian, chances are you know real Alexandrian food from miles away and the infamous Alexandrian kebda is no different.

To be honest, all Alexandrians know that you can’t have authentic Alexandrian food outside of Alexandria. It just doesn’t make sense unless the chef is from –you guessed it– Alexandria.

All Cairene favorites are overrated

Sadly, we have to tell you the harsh truth about many famed and loved Alexandrian landmarks. If you’ve ever been and noticed a suspicious lack of Alexandrians in any of these places, you’re about to know why.

Places like Gelati Azza, Balba3, El-Falah and many more are considered overrated. They just are — can you say tourist trap?

Disclaimer: the author of the article isn’t Alexandrian.