One of most complicated issues facing our community in the current time is marriage. We can’t help but notice how getting married has become increasingly difficult to the point that we can’t sweep this problem under the rug anymore. The financial burden of getting married, finding a decent place to live, along with many more difficulties elongate the waiting to the getting married purgatory. In some other cases, people simply don’t find someone who meet their standards, or someone who they believe will make them happy.
In the wake of this problem, girls start feeling insecure especially when they edge closer to thirty without getting marry or at least engaged.
‘Gawaz El Salonat’ is the Egyptian version of an arranged marriage; it’s the process of introducing a man and a woman to each other by a third party, for the purpose of considering a relationship that can develop into marriage. Don’t mistake it for a forced marriage; in arranged marriages, the spouses willingly agree to get married.
Some types of arranged marriages can turn into love marriages in the early stages of getting to know each other; that’s just awesome. But that isn’t the type under discussion here; we’re referring to getting married to someone you’re not absolutely certain you’re in love with. Sadly, that’s the case of a big share of those so-called arranged marriages. The groom likes the girl, she comes from a good family, looks pretty, let’s get married…
Sometimes, negative aspects could turn out to be positives if you look on the bright side. So why not list the perks and drawbacks of arranged marriages, try and assess the situation, and decide which is better getting an arranged marriage or waiting for love that may never come?
Let’s start with the perks to cheer things up a bit:
1.You will get married! Yay! And he might turn out to be the one. Who knows? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
2. You will finally be the one with the ring; no more dancing on ‘All the Single Ladies’. Beyoncé go home.
3. Sometimes love marriages crumble and arranged marriage thrive. Maybe yours will too.
4. The beginning of any relationship is always the best part while the first year of marriage is usually the toughest. You avoided the second risk through the additional benefit of the first advantage. Unlike love marriages, in arranged marriages the dating period is too short, so your first year of marriage is actually the beginning of your relationship. Smart girl!
5. As Agatha Christie had once said, “there is nothing more thrilling in this world, than having a child that is yours.” Maybe if you waited too long for love, it would be too late for you to have children.
Now, now, this is too good to be true; where’s the catch? Where’s the cold water tossed in our faces? Here it is:
1. It could turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life. Isn’t it a bet after all? Win or loose.
2. When that moment comes for your future daughter to ask you, dewy-eyed romantic “Mom, how did you and dad meet?” Instead of sharing a story about how you two first bumped into each other, or how you were the college’s love birds, and rather than awing her with how he proposed, you will dumbstruck her with “arranged marriage”!!
3.You waited for the love to come for a month, a year; three years had passed and you still held no love for the man you’re are calling your husband. What now? You have three options: One: make yourself love him (No guarantee, but it works sometimes). Two: keep going with your life, job, hobby, or maybe hanging out with some cool friends. Who needs love? Three: get a divorce; sorry but I can’t put off the evil day more than that.
4. Your flaws are perfect for the heart that is meant to love you. If you don’t love the man you will marry, would you be able to handle and deal with his flaws? Would he handle yours? Lots of question marks for your own good!
To lay it on the line, both types of marriages are risky gambles. You could marry someone you love then fall out of love. You can marry someone you don’t love then fall head over heels with them, and vice versa. There’s no right or wrong; it’s a matter of weighing the pros and cons of both types of marriages then choosing what suits your own life vision best. But always remember that happiness is relative; do what will make you happy, not what will make your parents happy. You can buy them a box of chocolate and make them happy, but marriage is all about you, and you only. Pick carefully; we hope you will come out as a winner.