Being a Girl in Egypt: The Twelve Commandments 

Egyptian society is one that comes with a long list of unofficial social ‘rules’, particularly for girls, and if you are unacquainted with our cultural norms, then you need a veritable guidebook the size of a special edition encyclopaedia to navigate the tricky practice of how living as a female in our fair country works.  Here’s the lowdown.

 

1. Thou shall understand and accepteth that double standards are the backbone of our country’s society

One of the most prominent aspects of our society are the raging double standards that are part and parcel of Egyptian life. These exist everywhere but in Egypt they’re magnified times seven with a superpowered NASA laser beam – the same one used in ‘Honey I Shrunk The Kids’, but in reverse. That might be a little excessive. They’re just really pronounced in Egypt.

 

2. Thou shall familiarise yourself with the concept of your Reputation and take all necessary precautions to safeguard it like it’s the Holy Grail.

The whole double standard situation in our country is inextricably tied in with the notion of Your Reputation. Simply put: girls have one, guys don’t. This effectively means guys have free reign to do as they please – questionable behaviours included, while girls have to refrain from engaging in many of those exact same behaviours for fear of the dreaded Bad Reputation. A Good Egyptian Girl must constantly be aware of how her actions will affect the way others perceive her (no going home too late, no spending time at a guy’s house unsupervised, etc, etc), because like it or not, we Egyptians are quite the judgemental bunch, and as a general Egyptian rule (somewhere alongside the Egyptian ‘honking is always a good idea’ rule) certain things are simply considered ‘improper’ for girls.

 

3. Thou shalt accept that some things are simply Okay for guys and Not Okay for girls.

A curfew, for instance, while being a staple of almost every Egyptian girl’s life, is an alien concept to most guys. Guys can stay out all night and stroll into the house at 7 am. My parents might suffer an immediate heart attack if I did that – actually, I might suffer a stab wound. Guys can drink as they please, drug it up as they please, and never be thought less of for it, but should a girl – oh my dieu! Not that any of these aforementioned things are in any way positive values to strive towards or anything, but well, it’s just interesting that they seem to be legitimately okayed for guys while simultaneously deemed ‘improper’ for girls.

 

4. Thou shall keep your legs closed until marriage.

Let’s consider sex as one of the major dividers between the genders. As a member of the fairer gender (girls), your virginity is expected to remain intact until that fateful day when you finally achieve the most important of all Egyptian goals; marriage (more on that later). This has been drilled into our minds since the day we learned how to spell s-e-x.  Good Egyptian Girls keep their legs closed. Our society has this little unspoken rule whereby it’s perfectly acceptable for guys to sleep around, but should a girl lose her virginity, she may as well don the Scarlett letter and walk around with it for all eternity, because her reputation has effectively been Scarred. It’s discrimination at its finest really.

Read:

A: “He’s had sex”

B: “Cool.”

A: “She’s had sex”

B: “Oh my dear lord nooo, she is no longer a pure and marketable maiden!’ Where is your chastity belt girl!? Go fetch it this instance! Harlot.”

 

5. If thou must engage in some of the aforementioned forbidden behaviours, thou shall do your utmost to diligently hide your indiscretions.

That’s not to say that all the females of this country devote their lives to knitting and baking pies and buying chastity belts and whatnot. Lots of girls indulge in ‘inappropriate‘ behaviours, but behind closed doors might be the best way to personify how girls go about doing what they want to do. Girls smoke in bathrooms, drink at their friends’ houses before an outing, smoke a furtive joint with one or two friends, hook up with guys and swear them to secrecy. Because unless you’re willing to subject yourself to massive judgement, you have to diligently hide away half the ‘improper’ things you’ve ever done

 

6.  Thou shall be grateful that at least thou dost not have to worry about army conscription.

To counter all the negative aspects of living in our society, we girls get a few perks. Guys live in perpetual fear of having to join the army, resorting to drastic measures to try and get out of it – my friend once suggested, with absolutely seriousness, that we get married because I have a foreign passport and that would discount him from having to join – while our biggest concern when we turn 21 is how we’re gonna celebrate.  So, yeah in this case, hallelujah for gender inequality.

 

7. Thou shalt always remain impeccably well groomed.

On a more trivial note, Egyptian women are expected, nay required, to be incredibly well groomed. You have to wax every inch of your body, always have perfectly arched eyebrows, go and get your nails done, and if your hair is less than Giselse-Bundchen-perfectly-waved, you are also expected to make sure it’s always done – so much so that perhaps half the female population has resorted to keratin-type treatments to ensure their hair always looks flawless. I have long since abandoned the quest for perfect eyebrows and perfectly manicured nails because, frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

 

8. Thou shall accept sexual harassment as a permanent fixture of your life in this country.

Another fun perk of being a girl in Egypt is that you are constantly subjected to sexual harassment to the extent that if you don’t get harassed on a given day, you feel like something strange is going on (this ‘given day’ has yet to come; it’s simply hypothetical). When exiting the confines of your Cairo home you are allowed to show the following: your face and neck, and 75% of your arms. Anything that reveals your shoulders is up for discussion. And that includes in the depths of our 100-degree summers. So even though you’re melting like the Wicked Witch of the West, in a puddle of your own sweat, and you fantasise about wearing shorts and tube top to counter the unbearable heat, it is literally unimaginable to consider the day when that is a viable option. Literally. I would have to be coked out of my mind or running to save a life. Both unlikely situations. You might try and counter this phenomenon by dressing conservatively, but no matter. You could be wearing full mohagaba garb, and still experience the never ending joys of sexual harassment. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

 

9. Thou shall understandeth, that as a result of the previous commandment, thou must act accordingly if you wish to remain alive and unraped.

By mere virtue of being a female in this country, your options are automatically limited. It’s partly due to this persistent fear not necessarily of verbal sexual harassment, because we’ve long since gotten used to that little gem of an experience, but that it will develop into something more, something physical. For guys, the world (the country) is their freaking oyster. They can roam the streets at 5 am pondering the meaning of life and whether they want pancakes or eggs for breakfast. But for a girl, it is an unthinkable prospect.  Abroad, late night taxi rides are the preferred method for getting home safely. If you’re in Egypt – and a girl alone – a late night taxi ride is a surefire way to get raped/kidnapped/chopped up into little pieces and buried near the pyramids.

 

10. Thou shall understand that freedom is, in fact, not one of your God-given rights.

Another notable aspect of being a girl in Egypt, is that freedom and independence are in short supply. You’re basically under your parents’ jurisdiction until you’re married and then you’re under your husband’s jurisdiction. We all live with our mommies and daddies until we reach that ultimate goal of Egyptian life: marriage. And that time period has no statute of limitations in terms of age – it extends until you’re married, period, whether you’re 25 when that happens, or 45. You never live alone, and you always have someone to answer to. We effectively have a glass ceiling on our freedom.

 

11. Thou shall consider matrimony as the ultimate goal of your life.

Marriage for a girl in our society is considered a noble and worthwhile goal to strive towards. And really, the younger the better. Girls should ideally be engaged by early 20s, and married by mid-20s. Because that is considered the appropriate age for a young lady to be betrothed. Yes, maybe for the Victorians. A teacher of mine at school once joked that girls went to AUC to find themselves a husband. Now that I think about it, he may have been serious. And every time I tell one of my grandparents I have a wedding to attend, they utter that same phrase: “3o2balik,” with a longingly hopeful look in their eyes, implying in no uncertain terms that their only dream before they die is to see me on my wedding day.

 

12.  Thou shall accept the above commandments as Law and will refrain from challenging them.