Family is usually the essence of everything. Some of us live with their happily married parents, which is a true blessing. Others, including me, have divorced parents, which is fine as well. Some have even lost one of their parents (R.I.P). This piece, however, addresses a majority of people living in households where their parents are still married but seem to have lost the spark, and it leaves you wondering; is that marriage? Is something wrong? Should I neglect it? Here are 4 things I’ve been told by different people on different occasions that I would like to share you!
1.“After marriage, love turns into 3eshra, so don’t expect a lot’’
It’s true that when two people commit to each other, the spark may fade away, but let me make it clear that the love doesn’t. And by love, we don’t refer to hugs, kisses and fancy gifts. Love is a respectful relationship between two individuals. If you feel that your parents are not having a healthy relationship, talk to someone close to you to validate your doubts or feelings.
2. “You have a huge role to play in your parents’ relationship”
In your family house, your presence has an influence as much as your parents’. Ask yourself what is my contribution to the strength of the family bond. If you’re spending most of the time outside the house, can’t remember the last time you had a family gathering or even spend a lot of time with one of your parents and neglect the other, your parents may start to feel detached and one of them would be affected by such a gap in the family.
3.“Sometimes, your parents need help”
I always believed a healthy relationship is one where everything goes smooth, which I learnt is untrue. A relationship normally faces challenges and requires help in certain cases to stay strong. One of your parents may need a reminder of warm gifts on certain occasions, or a hint that they need to make a move in a certain situation. Our parents are human beings and sometimes they can’t see the whole image.
4.‘’If you’re certain one of them is unhappy, make them know you’re comfortable with their decisions no matter what”
Sadly, some parents may be unhappy in their marriage, but decide to hang on because they don’t want to affect your life negatively. In fact, the awkward situation may be making you feel worse, not to mention how miserable they become on the long run. Always remember your parents will remain your parents who love you regardless whether or not they stay as a couple!
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. Your family defines who you are, so do not accept a reality that feels wrong to you just because you can survive independently. Your parents will always appreciate your efforts to attempt fixing any tensions. The most important thing is to avoid doing so by comparing them to other couples you know, but rather more to the way your parents used to be or should be. My final advice would be to love your parents unconditionally and they shall be happy no matter what!