To drive your mom mad, tell her that your friend’s mom’s molokheya is much better than hers.

Claim that the “shebsheb” she threw at you a second ago didn’t hurt.

Tell her that you hate all Abdelhalim’s songs.

Even worse, ask her who Abdelhalim is.

Tell her your phone died and you forgot to call her from a friend’s phone.

Break “El ta2m El Seeni”! Kolo ela el ta2m el seeni!

Don’t answer her calls just because you know how loud she will be.

Bring home a hamster. (ENTA GAYEBLY FAR FIL BEIT??)

Wait until she has had a big week and then… all you need to do is call Mama’s name repeatedly… you know: “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama” Just keep doing it – it’s guaranteed to work… of course, the alternative to this is to extend the word “mama”, changing pitch and tone throughout: “MaaaaaaAAAAAAAMMMMmmmmaaaaaaAAAA”

Leave the lights or AC on, even just to go to the kitchen.

When you go home, take off your shoes in the middle of the living room. Chances are, they will be thrown at you in less than a second.

Order food when she spent the whole day cooking.

Wear white in winter or black in summer. Yallahwee moseeba!

Don’t clean your room or closet, leave your clothes on the floor, and head out. You will be punished by being grounded until you clean your room, or she will leave your as messy as it is until you clean it up.

Forgetting a family gathering or event. (Tab3an, manta kol hammak as7abak ya anany!)