Egyptians were never meant for the cold. Their bodies were just not engineered that way. We were meant for hot weather and sweat. Not cold weather, rain and winter. The next few months will be hard on all Egyptians, not just because it’s the end of a very long year, but it’s also the start of the hardest season on us all…WINTER! Here are all the reasons why Egyptians aren’t meant for the cold: 

1- Our roads can’t stand a drop of rain 

Roads are flooded, traffic is bumper to bumper, everything goes to a halt and all because of rain water! Egyptians have never been able to deal with the phenomenon of rain, despite the fact that it happens annually. You’d think by this point in time we’d invest in a popular drainage system. But… That doesn’t look like it’s not going to happen anytime soon.

2- Our homes have no insulation 

Egyptians homes were built with no insulation material in mind. They were meant to keep the place cool because Egypt happens to be a warm country. But as a result of this poor architectural choice, we suffer in the winter!!!

3- Restaurants have to offer bataneyat 

If you ever go to an outdoor restaurant, you’re usually offered a bataneya in the cold weather! That’s because even the restaurant owners know that their Egyptians customers are poorly prepared for the winter, so they offer them blankets.

4- The whole country is sick around the same time 

Strangely, everyone starts contracting colds, fevers and coughs around the same time. It also happens to be the season where everyone is getting vaccines. This season is proof perfect that our immune systems were never meant to survive the harsh winter.

5- We never know what to wear in this weather! 

Our winters are pretty confusing; they’re sweltering hot in the sun and freezing cold in the shade. They can be absolutely rainy at some point, and then completely warm at another. These fluctuations mean you’re never really prepared with what to wear, and you’re always caught off guard like most Egyptians.

6- Our answer to the cold is lentil soup…?

When rainy weather arrives, we don’t stock up on medicine or prepare to insulate our homes. We make a big pot of lentil soup instead, in the belief that lentil soup is the remedy to all the cold chills we feel. But once the soup is finished, we’re back to the jitters!

7- The cold is our invitation to do NOTHING! 

Once the cold weather arrives, Egyptians enter a state of hibernation much like bears. They just lie in bed with their bataneya and shorbet el 3ads till the end of this season, because they have no intention of freezing their butts off by going out.

We’re creatures of habit! And if this isn’t proof of how we can’t cope with the weather, I don’t know what is!