Arguments with your significant other are always so provocative and most often than not can go into vicious circles. They usually start for a silly reason then escalate without both of you even realizing it. The fights can usually end if one partner remains calm, tries to absorb the situation, is patient and tries to really understand their partner’s point of view. In order to do that you need to keep in mind that this person you’re fighting/arguing with is definitely not your enemy, on the contrary this is the one you love the most.
#Remember the things you love about them
This is your partner after all, of course you love some qualities about them if not all! Try to remember them when you’re fighting, this will make you more patient and tolerant. Remember the good memories you shared and the good things they’ve done for you. Yes, it might be really hard when you’re in the middle of a fight but practice makes perfect.
#Try to listen, not just hear
Like realllyyyy LISTEN. Most of us tend to hear so they can finish and only then we can reply. But the right way to do it is to stop being defensive and instead try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes to really understand their point of view.
#Focus on being kind
Be smart, wise and kind when picking your words because your words could never be taken back. Partners are the closest people to each other; they know exactly what hurts one another and sometimes fall in the trap of using one another’s weaknesses in fights and say really hurtful things. So always remember to be kind and think what you’ll say through before getting it out of your mouth.
#Say these magic words
I love you, you’re beautiful, your happiness matters to me, “5aseity”, let’s not fight and think it through, instead I’m sure we’ll figure something out, looks like you’ve had a long day, and last but not least I get your point or you’re right. But the most important thing is not only to say them but to really mean them.
#Give them a hug/kiss
If a hug doesn’t end a fight, I’m not sure what does. A kind gesture full of love in the middle of a fight will make your partner remember that they love you and care about you and that you do too!
#Take time out
Suggest to take time out so you can both recap the whole thing in your head and chill. Continue the argument while both of you are less tense, but never sleep while you’re still on a fight.
Of course you shouldn’t be the one who is always absorbing and containing their partner; relationships are based on compromises and fairness! If you find yourselves fighting over big things like cheating, infidelity or abuse, you might need to seek a relationship counselor who will act as a non-biased judge for both of you.