When I was first hired at the preschool as a French teacher, I didn’t know what to expect. I expected to teach adorable little kids and hoped to possibly make a positive impact on their lives. I had no idea how important that last part was.

As a preschool teacher, your main task is to allow your students to explore all the different developmental skills; to understand their personality and act accordingly. Three year olds are still being taught about discipline, so treating them as though they should know better is completely out of the question.

It took me a year to master and grasp the importance of making your kids feel loved and appreciated no matter how troublesome they are; but most importantly, how to deal in a healthy way with different types of kids.

I’ve seen and heard my former co-teachers act recklessly because they’ve lost their cool or given up. Never give up on your kids. You are literally shaping their future. Whatever you do now will impact them as they grow older. And you wonder why some teens are more open than others, or why your friend’s son has better social skills than yours. Why is Karim aggressive and violent? Why is Nada scared of everything?

The first step is to establish your role as a parent/guardian and friend. Don’t be too strict; instead, be kind, understanding and collaborative. As soon as your kids feel that they can be your friend, then congratulations, you’ve made your first accomplishment.

Mat7oteesh rassek b rasso. You want your kids to be self-reliant, respectful and self-controlled. Here’s how you can achieve that:

Kids with tantrums: Create a diversion

Kids between 1 and 4 who are not getting what they want usually use tantrums as a way of communicating. The most effective form of parenting is to recognize your child’s issue. Don’t have your own personal meltdown A.K.A don’t scream and belittle him. But also don’t give in and let him do what he wants.

At my time in the preschool, I realized that creating a diversion always worked. One of my kids threw a tantrum every morning, as he wanted to leave with his parents. I told him we wouldn’t go to class and maybe take a walk around the playground so he could feel better (he needs to get back to his comfort zone). During that walk, we would talk about all the things he is interested in, what he likes, what he doesn’t like. Make your child feel important and direct his attention somewhere else.

Kids who hit: Be empathetic

First and foremost, kids don’t naturally start hitting. Either they have seen you do it, or they’ve seen a classmate do it. But it could also be because they feel disconnected and alone. Hitting is a way to express their emotions whether they’re feeling frightened or isolated. A child’s aggression cannot be tamed by punishment, shaming or timeout. Instead, drain the feelings that cause this aggression. These simple steps will eventually work overtime when you’ve set a steady system. Connect with your child; give them your full attention (eye contact), a good listening ear and kind physical contact. “I’m here for you, tell me what is bothering you…Come talk to me first and I will fix things for you.” While your child is offloading feelings, they may cry or scream. Always remember that children still do not know how to express themselves. Don’t punish them for what they don’t understand. Show them the right way.

Kids who are sensitive and socially withdrawn: Build confidence in them

Socially withdrawn children are those who are quiet, hesitant, uneasy, have a low self-esteem and interact less with their peers. They prefer a quiet corner rather than exploring their surroundings. They are most likely to stand back and watch rather than join and play. Here’s how you can help your child become more comfortable. Set a play date with another more outgoing child, and allow your son to establish a friendship. Once your child has experienced a positive interaction, he will be more likely to participate in future social situations. Appreciate and praise the things that your kid does, like climbing the ladder in the playhouse, finishing a coloring page or even being able to count till 10. Building confidence is crucial for this type of children. All they need is reassurance.

Kids who are rude and spoiled: “Unspoil” them

Spoiled kids are those who do not take no for an answer. They are used to getting their way; and this is because you make it so easy for them to control you, you give-in to whining. Example of giving in: Your child does not like the dinner served, so you get out of your way to make a special meal for him. Your job as a parent is to set rules and responsibilities your child has to meet; like cleaning up their room, finishing their food or homework before watching TV. They have to earn the things they want, nothing is gained without effort. Praise and reward them for good behavior. Have persistent rules for manners, if you are a good boy, you will get what you want. Always set boundaries and do not allow yourself to slip because it’s easier. It will only get more difficult in the long run.

My biggest advice for parents is to resist the urge to yell. Yelling is a form of emotional abuse. The loud voice, body language and the actual words you use can be detrimental to your child’s psychological health. Long-term yelling can result in developmental delays and emotional issues.

Use simple statements and positive words. For example, instead of giving threats, give reminders: “When you clean up your room, then you can go to the playground, or have that toy you always wanted.” (Keep your promise!)

Talk softly” instead of “stop screaming!” This is how you promote positive behavior.

Raising your kids the right way will allow them to become beautiful smart adults.