After all the disagreements, your relationship is finally ending. Whether you’re upset or happy, you’re going to need something here. A break-up spot. Somewhere quiet and safe to officially end things in.

And this is where we come in, of course! Ranked by quietness and cry-ability, here are the 5 best spots to break up in.

Any given Beano’s, but especially the Zamalek branch.

The best thing about Beano’s is that it’s not the “It Spot” anymore, which means not many people frequent it. This is naturally great for you here because that means you get the benefit of no audience to your break-up.

The one reason we specified the Zamalek branch, though, is that the waiters have seen their fair share of break-ups they just get extra tissues without you asking.

Co-working spaces, during hours you’re sure no one is coming in.

We know you may think these spaces get crowded easily and, honestly, you’re right. This is why you have to choose the right time and the right place, like finals week during exam hours, for instance.

Holm Café

This particular spot is a special lifesaver because it’s somewhat hidden and almost entirely vacant midday.

See? They even tell you to leave your worries

So, we all know what that means! A calm and quiet break-up, for all parties involved. And if anything, the coffee there will soothe your sorrows.


Though we’re not recommending the Zamalek branch for obvious reasons, other Cilantro branches, specifically the Dokki and Zayed branches, are perfect for a peaceful breakup.

It’s kind of a backup option if Beano’s doesn’t work out. Quiet, has other couples on the verge of breaking up, and nonjudgmental staff.

Oldish Café

If you happen to want a day break-up, Oldish is good for those because it gets crowded during rush hour and the nighttime.

During the day, you and your soon-to-be ex can take a table in a quiet corner and talk (or harshly whisper) things out all day.

Get those Facebook vague-posts and the tissues ready, people!