By Mostafa Hesham Fawzy

To all the guys out there, your fear is in place. Proposing and meeting the parents is one nerve wrecking experience to any of us. You have to be very well prepared for a day that might define the rest of your life, a first impression that lasts for a lifetime. You usually refer to your in-laws as your biggest enemies, even though they are the reason the love of your life exists. If you’re a girl, this is the article you want your 7amada to go through and if you’re a guy, here is how you can turn this scary experience into a pleasant one, w tekhosh el bab men beito #LikeABoss.

1. Make sure you set an appointment… Enta mosh raye7 tesalem el makwa!

You don’t want to dress up bel 7eta el 3al 7abl and be surprised that abu el 3arusa 3ando 3aza and end up eating el tortaya el bel ice cream wento merw7een.

2. Don’t make your parents do all the talking… Just don’t.

They will go hours and hours about how they gave you the best education and bla bla bla, leaving ahl el 3arusa wondering if you even have a mouth to talk. Try to rehearse with them what to say and what not to say, or it would  turn into a challenge, between the parents, about who is more impressive as an individual, you or the love of your life!

3. Matkhoshesh tehazar ma3 el 3arusa ba2a w kafek w keda.

If you do that, hatla2ee kaf nezel 3ala weshek and “el gawaza bazet..el gawaza bazet.” Don’t act all innocent as well; her dad is not dumb, he probably knows that you know each other. You can give a few compliments and controlled smiles to the bride every now and then, even if you share keset hob Mervat w 3ela2.

4. Dress up wisely…mosh lazem el 2amees el madrub khales.

Probably mamet el 3arusa will be giving you a full scan, and taking notes on what you’re wearing. Make sure you have the right watch on, or even the chic belt beta3 baba. Leave el 2amees el madrub le ba3d katb ketab!

tamer

5. Try to be friends with ekhwat el 3arusa prior to the encounter.

They will be the ones giving the post encounter talk to om el 3arusa, so if you make them happy, el gawaza hatemshi. If they give negative comments about you, forget about the love of your life. Whether it’s her older sister Yasmin or Miro her brother el f 5amsa ebtda2i, do it!

brothers

6. Don’t take 3ameto w khalto w tant Ferial… It’s not a graduation ceremony!

You don’t want 3ameto Ferial talking about how you used to hit on her daughter a long time ago, do you? You can take your parents and maybe grandparents but that’s it.

7. Law hatgeb haga helwa, go for that chic dessert shop everyone is talking about!

Ehna 3arfeen en fe ma7al helw fel 3omara that just opened a few days ago, but you need to go that extra mile, and buy from those dessert stores you’ve always made fun of for their prices and stuff.

8. Be flexible in the talking with abu el 3arusa.

In the first encounter, abu el 3arusa will be very strict in where he wants his daughter to live, and will probably give you a “No” to a lot of things. Don’t go ba2a 3abdu Muta style and howa da el 3andi. You have to be flexible, and make him feel that you too want “Soso” -or whatever her name is – to have the best out there.

flexible

9. Talk about your goals and dreams.

We all know you’re totally clueless about what you’ll do next week. To tie the knot, you have to look to her parents as a man with dreams and goals to become the richest businessman in less than five years.

10. Make sure you set an appointment to the next encounter.

Don’t make the parents feel like you are meeting them, ashan te2dar tokhrog ma3 soso in public w khalas. Have the next encounter set before you leave and make the parents feel enek dakhelel bab men beito.

With a little bit of e7na beneshtery ragel from 7amatak, 3ala hedeya men Azza Fahmy to her days later. You can feel totally relieved that you aced the encounter, and maybe then, Soso will stop nagging you with “hat2abel baba emta” and you can finally have a stable pleasant relationship with Soso.