When we go through heart aching breakups, the first advice we often receive is “get over him and move on.” There are plenty of recommendations on how to get over someone, including some on our website, but the question remains – do you really have to?

Before getting into details, here are some of the emotional phases you go through as you try to get over your ex!

 

Get over him, or get over the relationship?

When people say “Get over it,” they could actually be referring to the relationship, and the person himself. It’s only logical to get over the relationship after a breakup, but why should you get over the person you once fell in love with, or at least liked?

You loved them for a reason, and broke up for a reason.

No matter how bad or ugly the relationship was, your partner must have been good at least at some point. If you’re sad over a breakup, it’s probably because you lost that person, not the relationship. In most cases, breakups are for a reason.

You can’t force emotions.

Trying to force yourself into loving or hating a person will never happen. It’s unhealthy and will only make it harder for you.

Time could heal, or not.

By time, you could get over the emotions you felt for someone. In some cases, however, it never really happens. Years might pass, and you’ll still feel the same.

You’re still certain that you CAN’T be with them.

You still have feelings, and you know it. But you’re 100% sure that you’ll never be together, no matter how badly you want to.

So is it okay to still have feelings for your ex?

If you really loved someone, it’s perfectly normal to still have feelings for them ages later. Many might think that it’s “cheating” or they’re “living in the past” or won’t even truly love someone else, but this is false. As long as you’re not acting upon your feelings – like trying to get back with them, or sabotaging your own relationships by either comparing or still directing all your emotions towards your ex – you’re good.

If your current significant other does admit that they still have feelings for their ex, you shouldn’t run away! It only shows they’re loyal, and that they’re confident enough about their feelings towards you to admit it. More importantly, it shows they respect the people they get involved with.

 

Don’t force yourself into hating your ex, and don’t feel ashamed of your feelings towards them.