Divorce is one of the hardest things any woman can go through. Letting go of what you once thought was a happily ever after is devastating. The pain she feels in her chest when she hears her heart breaking is exhausting. The guilt starts to take over as she asks herself over a hundred times a day “Did I do the right thing? Did I reach for the stars to try to make it work?” The answer is yes. There is a reason why it reached that extreme. Life after divorce has to take women who are empowered with courage so that they may go on. This is the time to be fearless, take risks and be more than you were or could have imagined. You may be lost now but it’s about time you try to find yourself again. Empower yourself because you are responsible for your happiness. Why? Because the truth is you cannot change a person to be exactly what you want. It is not possible and would not be moral. It’s a new beginning, a new start and a new feeling of strength. Just like any addiction, there is a recovery. Divorce is no different.
Step 1: You need to realize that you’re powerless in your marriage and that the lives you both shared together has now come to an end. This is a very hard step to take, but it’s also your fist step to freedom. Once you realize that there is nothing else you can do to save your marriage that is when you know you hit rock bottom.
Step 2: Hopefully, once you take the first step. You start to accept your status as a single person and forgive both yourself and your ex for mistakes both of you made. You then start getting used to living alone and making your self comfortable. By getting on with your life you bring this stage of your life to a successful closure.
Step 3: This is where your inner strength should arise. You now need to regain your identity for just being yourself and not from as being a part of a couple. The decisions you make from now on should reflect on you and no one else. You should think how this decision would benefit you and only you, because from now on all you have to worry about is making yourself happy.
Step 4: Be open to change. Open your mind to new things and new possibilities. You need to start by changing the way you think. Make sure you don’t let negative thoughts creep into your mind, because that will only leave you stuck in the past and will give make it you a harder on you time to move on. Think positive. Your perspective will change your reality.
Step 5: Do something new, try something different. Go to the gym, what is better than looking your best and staying fit and healthy? Not only would it keep you from thinking of anything negative but it will also motivate you and make you want to look your best. The most important thing after a divorce is not to let yourself go like a lot of woman do. Take care of your appearance, at the end of the day its part of who you are. You don’t want people gossiping about you and saying you’re going through a hard time and it looks like you’re 20 years older. Remember it’s a new beginning!
Step 6: Friends. You might think I haven’t talked to them for a while and that you drifted away after you got married. This is the time where you need to pick up the phone and start regaining your friendships. There are friends and there are “FRIENDS”. The ones that count won’t judge you, will listen to you, will love you, and will always support you in any way you need. Even if you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, you need to have a friend to remind you to keep going because you will eventually see the light.
Step 7: LAUGH! Sounds like the last thing we feel like doing, but the power of humour lies in making us see something from a different perspective. Break out with laughter which in turn will lead you to breaking out of the pattern of sadness, if only for that moment. And from that moment, it gets easier to break out again and again. When you laugh, the friends that are worried about you also feel a moment of accomplishment. Laughter is free, abundant, healthy and transforming. Make yourself do it if you have to, but just do it, and everything else becomes a little easier. Don’t let anything take away your happiness. None of us are perfect, though we usually try with everything we have to live a perfect life. We normally fall down at least once or twice along the way. Our marriages or our choice of partners in marriage could be one of those downfalls in our lives. So do not be afraid of becoming a divorced person. Think about your own ambitions and the kind of happiness you would like to enjoy. Remember that loneliness, boredom and unhappiness are indeed, self induced. Determine that you want to be happy and then reach for happiness with all you have.