If you’re twenty something, then you’ve probably undergone both the best and the worst days of your life. You’ve learned a lot, yet not enough. You’ve seen so much, yet so little, and you’ve come to realize the ugly truths of life. Being twenty something is probably one of the most underrated things in life, because it’s exactly the time where your dreams get either shattered or born. And although the experience might be different for everyone, it’s safe to say that no one gets out of it unchanged. Here are the seven things I learned in my twenties; who knows maybe we share a thing or two. The world isn’t as big and vast as everyone makes it out to be after all.
1. Death is inevitable, and there’s no escaping it
If you’re in you’re twenties then, most probably, you have already encountered the death of a loved one and saw for yourself that it’s nothing like you ever imagined. No matter how strong you might have stood or how much of a brave face you put on, it probably broke you to pieces and left you asking “Why me?” without really ever finding an answer or a reason. It changed things for you. You probably love better now, maybe even go to every family gathering and every cousin’s birthday even though you have so many, sometimes you can’t even keep a count. Or maybe you built your walls up so high and stopped getting too attached, because you knew better. You knew for yourself that eventually everyone leaves.
2. The life plan you set is not really going to work out, no matter how perfect it might seem
If you’ve met me five years ago, I probably would’ve told you how my life was going to go exactly, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. I don’t know what is it about our teenage years that make life so easy and dreamy. Well, it’s probably our parents paying for everything, but you know whatever! The most important thing is we’ve all set life goals, whether they are concerned with our prosperous careers or a long lifetime with our partners. What happened was far from them. We don’t know how or why, but our dreams didn’t really work out the way we had hoped. Misunderstandings happened and work interviews didn’t go as well as we had hoped even though we did all the right things, said all the right words and scored the best extracurricular activities on our resumes.
3. You probably understood what it means to pass through an existential crisis phase
It’s that phase where absolutely everything is up for question. Whether it is the reason why you were born or if you are ever really going to change the world as you had always planned to. You find yourself asking all the wrong questions, doubting your every turn and you end up filled with self hatred for the chunk of waste you discovered that you truly are.
4. You can make it on your own
One of the perks of being in your twenties is that you really get to expose yourself and get out of your comfort zone, which can be rather hard but glorifying at the same time. It is only when you are living half way across the world or stuck in the worst of situations that you discover your true capabilities. You realize that you are not merely a survivor, but a fighter.
5. You learned to love yourself
As contradicting to the last point as this sounds, but by the time you are in your twenties, you already have an idea about your true self. You’ve already proved to yourself times and times again that you are stronger than you once thought you are, that you may not be where you want to be yet, but you absolutely can and will get there. It makes you love yourself more, for you are stronger and more confident than you were in your early teenage years.
6. Running away won’t fix anything
You’ve come to understand how to use a bad experience to your favor, that running away from your problems are not going to make them go away, and that, instead, you will end up carrying the weight of every problem you chose to run from on your shoulders. You learned to make better decisions, to suck it up and to use your past discretion as a utility by which you could do better in your future.
7. Seeking validation from others will only harm your self worth
The fear of rejection that has once held you back eventually faded away, because you realized that the only person you should compare yourself to is YOU. You are a person who is rational and well rounded enough to get to decide for yourself if your life is working out for you, and if you want to get married or need a career shift.
Finally, your twenties are your make it or break it years. The journey will never be easy, so all you got to do is make the most out of what you learned and hope for the best. Hopefully one day, eventually just as you were about to give up, you get where you want to be.