We received this article from a contributing writer and would like to pass his views to our readers on such a controversial matter. We would appreciate your feedback if you agree or disagree with Mr. Youssef’s ‘claims’ as he puts it.
‘El7ob byeegy b3d el gawaz’. A famous controversial quote said by a mother to her wailing daughter convincing her to marry ‘elgahez men magamee3o’ and to let go of her love; claiming that love comes after marriage. And yes, these ‘claims’ are totally right for the following reasons:
– Physical relationship: The physical engagement between the couple is a very important thing. It keeps things going, it breaks the routine and it makes the attachment stronger.
– Ask the old folks: When you ask your grandmother about her love stories with your grandfather, you can hear stories that can be written in tomes not books. She might not have even seen him before the wedding night, and all the stories happened after their marriage. They didn’t know each other, they didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and they didn’t chat for days and nights.
– ‘Leelet el do5la’: Every couple is waiting for the mighty ‘leelet el do5la’. The love from first sight myth is not about loving the girl or vice versa; it’s all about satisfying the lust of getting the first bed experience.
– Building ‘3eshra’: You find love in everyday detail whether it’s what you are going to eat or where you are going to spend the weekend or putting up with your mother in law. Love is all the good and the bad; happy moments and ugly ones.
– Children: They are messy and ‘zananeen’, but you can’t hate them; they will build more connections between couples. You will do anything to make this thing work for the sake of your child.
I’m not saying that love doesn’t exist. It does, but with our traditions and culture you will never experience the whole love thing unless you are married. It is the truth, so then and only then can you speak of love.
Written By: Youssef Abdel Aziz