Not everyone in this life knows how to love themselves as they should. The problem with self-love and self-esteem is more common than you think. Especially with men.
Choosing to be with someone who deeply thinks less of themselves could be really tricky. Should you choose to be with such partner, know that you’ll have some trouble navigating through their messy personality. Here’s a know-how guide to help you in your journey!
First off, you need to know for sure if your partner fits the criteria.
So, what are the signs you’ll need to look out for If you doubt a guy has low self-esteem?
A guy with low self-esteem could be super clingy and emotionally demanding. He might give you the cold shoulder, but he won’t accept the same from you. Possessiveness and a fragile ego are also a surefire way to spot one, so watch out!
If you now know it for sure, what could you do? Actually a lot. It is true that changing people is difficult and not always realistic. However, with the help of a partner, coping and eventually altering some personality traits might be possible.
At this point it sucks to be you, but let’s walk you through steps that could help save your love life.
Know this is not your fault
In some extreme cases, people with low self-esteem could actually inflict some of their problems on you or make you feel like this is somehow your fault. Don’t fall in this trap. Instead, know that your love comes with problems and you’re willingly choosing to work on them. Especially if you know you have been nothing but faithful and supportive throughout your relationship.
Understand the root cause of those problems
First step in the road to recovery is identifying the cause. Lack of confidence could be a result of parental neglect, living in a sibling’s shadow, being bullied as a child or being dumped by an ex lover and the list goes on..
When you get to the bottom of it, you’ll sympathize and understand what’s causing your partner to behave the way they do and you’ll know where and when exactly to give them validation. Which will, most probably, help you both a lot on the long run.
Help me, help you
You can’t keep a secret agenda for long. Know that at some point, you will have to confront your partner with their problems. Let them know that you can’t help them if they don’t realize they need the help. After all, any effort you’ll invest will be in vain if they won’t let you. So, communication is the key.
Embrace your limits
Knowing your limits is vital throughout this process. You need to make peace with the fact that not every person with a self-esteem issue is easily fixed. Or at least not by you. Some require the intervention of professional help. If you try your best and still don’t feel any hints of change, talk to your partner and consider the option of a therapist.
Finally, your partner has to know that you don’t need to fix them to love them. Love should be granted unconditionally. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to continue to be in a relationship where you feel miserable. Therefore, you’re both doing what it takes to find a middle ground of peace and equality.