By: Rana Ramez
The vast majority of us have their own share of broken hearts, disappointing dates and toxic relationships, which is a natural outcome of our continuous pursuit of love. But there are a few whom we can safely call “Lucky in Love”. They are those fortunate couples that you see and can’t help but think to yourself: “Oh, they are so lucky! I wish I have what they have.” Is it true that some people are just luckier than others when it comes to love, or are there other factors that control the whole affair?
Truth is that there is abundance of luck and good fortune for everyone to live their own fairytales and to find the love of their lives. Joining the ‘Lucky in Love” Club, and winning one of the greatest prizes that life has to offer, is what we’re going to unveil to you next.
1. Broaden your horizons
Having a rigid idea of what we want in a partner; the way they look, their personality traits, their behaviour, etc. represents a huge obstacle in the way of being fortunate in love. The main reason behind it is that most of us don’t even know for sure what will really make us happy.
Perfect fits don’t mean that you and your partner share the same interests and goals, but rather accept their differences and don’t use them against each other. Stop searching for your duplicated version in the other gender, because guess what? In case you find them, which is nearly impossible, your life will be boring as hell. Your partner being different from you is not a deal breaker, that’s why you need to let go of your preconceptions to not miss out on someone who may turn out to be perfect for you
2. Paradox of Options “more is less”
What sabotages many relationships is that people keep thinking about other possibilities; what if there is a better fit for me out there? What if I can be happier with someone else? Psychology speaking, having more options makes us miserable. Though we think that the more options we have, the happier we become, the truth is that it imprisons us in a state of permanent dissatisfaction.
If you’re in a relationship but are still looking for the best, you’re never going to put in the time and effort necessary to make what you have the best. Choose to invest in your relationship’s growth and it may turn out to be what you’ve always dreamed about. Acknowledge that all choices are trade-offs and stop thinking about the “what ifs”; they will blow your chances of a happily ever after.
3. Dig out the feelings of luckiness
Positive and active efforts of partners to recognize and express the fact of being lucky to have each other will actually upgrade their relationship and make it more satisfying. This can be described in two words: appreciation and gratitude. It is the magical foundation of every happy satisfying relationship. By showing your partner appreciation, you push them subconsciously to have positive relationship behaviours, and by expressing gratitude, you’re increasing their connection and sense of responsibility.
Bring out your gratitude by noticing the supportive positive behaviours of your partner and the efforts they do to make you happy. As a result, you’ll start to value them and treasure what you have with them. Make sure to show them your appreciation in return and do something nice, which will encourage them to do similar desirable behaviours in the future.
4. Love is hard work
One thing we always tend to ignore or overlook about relationships is that they require such hard work to be successful. “Luck in Love” is not made the day you meet your significant other, it’s rather created day by day for the whole lifetime of a relationship. Do you actually think that lucky people rely on fate to keep them connected to their soul mates? Are you really convinced that it’s a matter of people born lucky and others doomed to failure? If yes, then you will perceive every bump on your road as an indication that this relationship wasn’t meant to be. As long as you’re maintaining this mindset, you’ll never get to experience the love luck.
Being lucky in love depends on how much you and your partner are willing to compromise for each other and how much you two are ready to work on your issues and conflicts. It means knowing and accepting that it won’t always be rainbows and butterflies. Real love and deep connections never happen overnight; it is two people who found each other and chose not to give up on each other, thus turning what they have into something desired by everyone.
5. Control the level of your expectations
“Expectation is the root of all heartache” – William Shakespeare.
It’s a human thing to expect good things from the ones we love; it’s a reflection of how greatly we think of them. The problem appears when the expectations are unrealistic, idealistic and way too high. Some forget that their partners are also humans, and start to think of them as superheroes who will provide for every emotional need, be the answer to every problem and save them from misery. Having this kind of expectations can and will lead to pain, bitterness and disappointment.
This is not translated into settling for less though; it only means that having realistic expectations and clear visions about your partner’s human flows and imperfections will pay off big time in how lucky you can get in love. So instead of perceiving the partner as a saviour, you have to accept their imperfections and start working as a team who sets goals together and work hand in hand to achieve them.
Finally, as cliché as it sounds, you need to love yourself first, because how you see yourself is directly reflected on how others will see you. Forget about the nonsense of how lovers complete each other. In fact, you are a whole on your own. Love and respect yourself and before you know it you’ll find someone who will do it the same way you desire it.
Each and every one can be lucky in love and now you know it. So go out there and start creating your own luck.