In marriage, you either follow your heart or your mind, and in both cases the decision is never easy. The ‘right one’ is so right and the one ‘you love’ is your ‘everything’! So what do you do? Some people would advise you to follow your mind and marry the’ right’ one, because ‘love begins after marriage anyway. This might not be necessarily true though! Others might advise you to follow your heart and marry the love of your life, the man you are madly in love with! This seems pretty awesome but you are nevertheless sceptical of his social, financial, or religious ‘issues’. Is one choice ultimately better than the other? Well, maybe yes, maybe not. But as a rule of thumb, no one gets everything in life, because there is no perfection by default.


The right one is ‘that’ one, you have most probably met at a formal event, whether your best friend’s wedding, or a random conference at work. The guy has got everything going for him, really! He is rich, handsome, religious, comes from a socially renowned status, and above all else, he loves you. Of course, your family and friends persistently push you to marry him for obvious financial security and social status! You think about it, and ask yourself whether you will be happy or not. You take your time, days or even months thinking about him until you finally make your decision. You eventually say ‘No’, because there is no chemistry between you and convince yourself that the guy is perfect, but just not for you.


This is the love of your life! You have been together for so many years, and it’s time to take one step further and get married! Throughout your relationship, you have truly enjoyed your time together until he surprises you with his proposal. The guy meets your father, and proposes for marriage! This is quite a shock for you! Instead of feeling genuinely thrilled, you feel anxious and hesitant because you feel “it’s getting serious now”. You should have been happy of course, but unfortunately, this is not the case. You start to feel a bit weird about your feelings towards him especially that you have previously refused the ‘right one’ because there was no chemistry. Now you fear getting married to the love of your life, because you have ‘issues’ with him. Or frankly speaking, he is the one who’s got ‘issues’, and you have known it for many years but hardly tried to face them! You love him, but you are still not convinced! Something has kept you worried throughout the relationship! What will you do now? Remember there is no perfection, and this is no easy choice.

Getting married is a huge step; deciding to spend the rest of your life with ONE person for richer or poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health till death do you part should never be a rushed hasty decision. True, you should trust your heart and follow your instincts but never without using your common sense and the sound judgement of your mind. Remember that whatever you decide will impact your life forever and you cannot afford to mess that up. Life doesn’t always give us second chances.