Who wants “nakad we mashakel” when they can have a happy family? Yes, having a new family member might be hard, especially if they come from a different background or have different values, but it’s worth going the extra mile to be on good terms. Be smart; winning your daughter-in-law‘s heart will only bring you closer to your son and your grandchildren. Here’s how to win merat ebnek over:

1-Give them space

You don’t have to call your son four times a day or ask him to visit you on a daily basis; he already has lots of things on his plate. Of course, if you need your son, you should NOT HESITATE to ask for his help. However, try to give them space whenever you can.

2-Respect their privacy

If your son\daughter doesn’t want to tell you the reason behind their argument, don’t push them to do so and respect their privacy. If they won’t tell you how much they make for a living, respect that too. Yes, you’re already doing that and you want to know these things, not because you’re mean or curious, but because you care about them. However, the more you respect their privacy, the more they’ll be willing to share with you.

3-Help them out if you can

If you can help them in a way, do it. Try to babysit your grandchildren whenever you can and let them go on holiday; try sending them food if you have a cook.

4-E7tadeny “merat ebnek”

Treat her like she’s your own daughter. Be kind to her and try to compliment her every now and then.

5-Respect her parents

You might have some issues with her parents. After all, again you’re two different families blending into one and that’s not easy. But under any circumstance, do not by any means disrespect her parents because that won’t ever be forgotten even if she knows that you’re right and they’re not. No one ever wants to hear negative comments about their parents!

6-Respect their decisions when it comes to their children

When they ask you not to give them sweets, please don’t because they try very hard to give their children a healthy life, and yes, this one time really counts. When they say no to their children about anything, please respect it also. They don’t want to end up being the bad guys. Yes, they know that grandparents always love to pamper and spoil their grandchildren and they probably love that about you, however, they won’t appreciate it if it gives them hard time.

7-Don’t always criticize her

We know you gave them the most precious thing in your life (your son) but that shouldn’t be a reason to start picking on them. Try not to criticize everything they do especially if it’s nothing major. Accept that she’s different and hope that their marriage succeeds instead of waiting for her to slip and make a mistake.