Dear Dr. Bonnie

I started to believe that I have an obsessive-compulsive disorder or maybe what I go through is a way to escape from the constant stresses in my daily life. I take a shower more than 10 times a day! It all started when I used to take a shower, as a way to escape from the constant demands at home and the everlasting nagging of my kids. Taking a shower was my only escape and break time. This was the only place where I could stay alone without anyone disturbing me (noticing that my kids still knock on the door asking me for things to do for them!) I began to realize that there is something wrong when I found myself going to take a shower after I just came out! After I got divorced, things got worse and the number of times increased. What made me think it’s not an obsessive disorder is that I don’t do it because I’m obsessed about cleaning, but it’s a way that I find relief and feel disconnected from my world.  Please help and let me know if it’s a critical case.

Dear Very Clean,

        Fortunately, from what you have told me, I doubt that you have OCD.  It does not sound like you have obsessions, and your showering sounds like it has a different quality than the sort of compulsions, that people with OCD experience.  It sounds like showering is a source of escape and is a self-soothing treatment for you. Some people use alcohol or drugs in the same way. Fortunately, unlike drugs or alcohol it is not harming your internal organs.  Unfortunately, it is probably harming your skin (our largest organ, but an external one) and I would guess it is interfering with your day to day functioning.  Treatment would most likely involve looking more closely at the situations and thoughts that are most likely to trigger your desire for a shower.  You might want to explore them  more deeply, what it is about showering that makes you feel better.  You would want to find healthy alternative behaviors that serve the same needs that the showering does for you. For example maybe taking a short walk, or having a cup of tea while listening to music on headphones.  Finally, you would be encouraged to face some of your anxieties that you are able to avoid through your showering.  Perhaps limit yourself to two showers a day, and pay attention to how you feel when you want a shower, but don’t allow yourself to take one. It sounds like there are some larger emotional issues that you are grappling with, of which showering is just a symptom.  You might find it useful to seek professional help with this. Perhaps start by keeping a log of your showers and the situations, thoughts, and feelings that lead up to the shower.  Just becoming more aware and tracking an undesirable behavior can decrease the frequency of the behavior.  Changing behaviors like this is very difficult, but certainly they can be done. Reaching out for help the way you have is a good sign, and means that you are probably ready to make a change.  Recognize that this will be challenging, and be kind to and patient with yourself.