For the past month, one very specific question has been controlling our minds and social media timelines which is “Who Killed Farida?”
Now that we thankfully who did it (no spoilers), we can put the suspense to rest and focus on another equally alarming situation that has -also- been introduced to us in Zay El Shams.
As you probably already know, our social media timelines have been flooded with posts about Noor & Omar lately.
If by some act of miracle, you don’t actually know who these are, they are two of the main (if not the main) characters of this year’s Ramadan hit series, Zay El Shams.
Why have they been flooding our social media feeds?
Well, ever since the very beginning of Ramadan, Zay El Shams has managed to become the talk of the town, and by town, we mean the hypothetical one on our phones.
This was due to several factors, some of which were the intriguing storyline of the show (which is inspired by the Italian Show Sorrelle), and of course, the raw and honest performance of the actors, especially the star of the show, Dina El Sherbiny.
But most of all, it was the fact that so many people (especially women) were able to relate to Noor (which is played by El Sherbiny).
More specifically, Noor’s feelings and complicated relationship with Omar (which is played by Ahmed El Saadany). You can check our analysis of the infamous “cheating scene” that almost broke the internet here.
But recently, the development of these two characters and the show’s events, actually made the “social media talk” more intense than ever. It was more than just “relating” to what’s happening.
Well, let’s recap that odd relationship first in case you have managed to escape social media and live under a rock for the past month.
So at the beginning of the show, Omar was Noor’s fiance. They were in love and all was good until he cheated on her with her sister (Farida) whom the show basically revolves around. Then Farida and Omar got married and had two children together.
Jumping ahead, Farida gets murdered. So Noor and Omar go on a quest to find her killer TOGETHER, during which their relationship’s torch gets reignited and they start getting closer again.
But then Omar ends up being the police’s first suspect in Farida’s murder case and gets arrested and put into jail.
So Noor (who happens to be a lawyer) “naturally”, decides to take on his case and tries to prove his innocence of killing her own sister with whom he cheated.
In the process, Noor pushed away Mostafa (played by Ahmed Dawood) whom she friend-zoned despite being good for her in every way imaginable.
Then, just recently, Noor FINALLY comes to her senses after discovering another one of Omar’s lies and decides to walk away -in tears and hurt- from this toxic relationship. Giving the audience another extremely emotional scene…
But the fact that Noor let herself feel anything towards Omar again, and actually fall for him and tried to help him seemed to trigger something in a LOT of people.
Well, there are two teams.
Some are aggressively attacking or carelessly making fun of Noor for being so “weak” that she could still love the guy who cheated on her with her sister and lied to her countless times.
Of course, it didn’t help that she was ‘casually’ friend-zoning a perfect guy who loves her, Mostafa.
While others are romanticizing it and relating to her seeing this as the perfect demonstration of how people can’t control their feelings.
Some saw it as just another ‘you can’t choose who to love’ and ‘love is blind’ thing.
But neither is calling it out for what it really is; clear Stockholm Syndrome, or in the least, a severe case of masochism.
What does this mean?
The technical definition of Stockholm Syndrome is the condition which causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance or affection towards their captors in kidnapping or hostage situations.
In relationships, Stockholm is reflected by the desire of staying with someone or honing love and affection towards someone who abuses you in any way whether physically or mentally. I.E. willingly and consistently going back to what makes you miserable.
It is a world-known, treatment-worthy condition. However, sadly, not everyone understands it or is even aware of its existence.
This leads people who have it to not understand it, and people around them to judge them for it. Which makes it more dangerous.
Whether we like it or not, what we see on TV affects our lives and the way we think. Like this scene for example…
Romanticizing Noor’s clear Stockholm Syndrome and calling it “love” reflects our severe lack of awareness.
Relating to her absolute lack of control over herself and her actions reflects something within us, and it is not that love is blind.
Because love is NOT and should NOT be blind. And placing it in that frame is what makes so many of us get broken-hearted or worse.
It is letting love be the hanger on which we hang our low standards, lack of self-worth, deeply-rooted psychological conditions, and -later on in the future- our miserable and troubled lives.
In other words, if you are wondering why you keep going back to that one person that makes you miserable and can’t feel a thing towards anyone else despite how amazing they are, here is your final answer. It is NOT because you love them, it is simply because deep down, you don’t think you deserve the good and your lack of self-worth keeps pushing you towards the bad.
Case in point: Noor’s situation and ending…
Spoiler: She ends up going back to him (AGAIN), then the show ends with him abusing her (PHYSICALLY) this time.
How to fix it?
Instead of trying to make this abusive, emotionally-draining relationship work by putting all your energy in it, put that energy to better use by working on loving your own self and understanding your own mind.
Figure out the deep-rooted problems that are causing you to behave in this self-destructive way, AND GET HELP!! So you can finally find the love you deserve from yourself and others.