It’s not the people around you, it’s not watching your friends who had found love, it’s not romantic movies or love stories, it is not going out without a date; all these things are lame to you. They affect you every now and then, yes, but you can handle them. They aren’t what is nagging at the back of your head.
It’s you. You, and the fear of never finding real love.
You don’t fret over it, at least not purposely. The thought hits you when you’re least expecting it, and you keep wondering when. When will you meet someone who’ll make everything seem right? Someone you will curl up next to after a long tiring day, who will swoop in during your darkest hour and save you, who will listen to your stories, the stupid and the meaningful ones…When?
It’s not that you feel incomplete, it’s just that you want to share your life with someone when everyone else is busy with their own lives.
To fist bump on your successful days, to do a victory dance together when he/she gets a promotion…You want to celebrate life with another soul created only for you. That’s why they are called “The one“, the one who will do it all with you. There is nothing wrong or demeaning in wanting that.
Here is what’s wrong; it’s letting the fear of ending up alone swallow you whole and prison you behind bars.
Let’s say some super power came over you or a crystal ball fell into your hands, and you could see the future. And you saw with an indisputable certainty that your future self will never meet the love of your life…what now?
I would say anyone will be devastated, sad, lonely by this fact, would even question for a while if there is a reason to go on.
But then you will do what you always do after a fall or a bump in the road, you will keep going.
But where will you go? What would be the focus of your life? Will you set your eyes on having a successful road in a job or a craft you love? Or maybe you will turn to yourself and quench your thirst to explore the world, or go on an adventure..
Or maybe the people in your life will your central point; your family who love you endlessly, or your friends who had always provided an ear to listen to your mess and a shoulder for you to cry on. Would you show up a little more often, share a little more of your life?
The most devastating thing that could happen to you could be the most liberating thing that will occur in your life.
Freeing our lives from the fear of ending up alone would open the doors to infinite possibilities! There is nothing you’re waiting on to happen in order for you to start your life. Your life starts now. You can go study the major you figured you loved halfway through college year, but it was too late to do so. Now, there is no such thing as late. You can visit every city there is in the world without worrying about the financial burden your debt may place on somebody else. You can do anything!
Don’t wait around for someone to show up and rescue you, or give you the cue to start living you life. You are that person.
You are your rescuer. Because without even the need for a crystal ball, when those victory moments happen, when failure knocks your door, when pain, fear and hurt visit your life; you will be the one to pick yourself up or celebrate the moment. To nurse your wounds, and give a shout out for yourself.