I donโt know what it is, but as someone whoโs often asked to weigh in on love-related matters and give relationship advice, I constantly find people trying to classify their dream partner. You want someone who has dark brown hair, tanned skin and blue eyes. They must also love dogs, have an artistic side and a dreamy smile. They must be successful and career-oriented yet still appreciate the small things in life. You want them to whisk you off your feet and surprise you with gifts all day long. You want them to be edgy and mysterious yet still warm and naturally fun.
Hold up, hold up. People are more than just a bunch of attributes or adjectives. People are whole beings, and what I regretfully need to inform you ย is that theyย cannot be classified into lists. Your dream โguyโ or โgirlโ may not be more than an image that you created in your own mind.
We need to be more realistic about our expectations of others because weโre all a collective mixture of good and bad- of positive and negative characteristics. But what about standards? What about personal preferences? Arenโt we all entitled to have those?
Yes, we definitely are. Itโs only fair that we get to not accept someone, for example, who constantly lies or cheats. Itโs only fair that youโd want someone who understands and supports you. It is not, however, quite realistic to have detailed physical traitsย that are limiting and superficial. Would you reject someone youโre compatible with simply because they donโt have your desired muscle tone? It seems quite irrational, doesnโt it?
Yes, we all need to feelย physically, mentally and emotionallyย attracted to our partners. Yet, superficiality cannot be a detrimental, make-or-break factor when it comes to whether the relationship will work out or not. ย Look at people with an open mind rather than a mind controlled by pre-determined lists. Trust me, youโll see people a lot more differently.
