When you’re well into your mid-twenties, the time I like to call “quarter life crisis”, you either start accepting or hating yourself. No one is perfect; we all have our vices but when they start becoming self-destructive we need to take care. Self-destruction doesn’t have to be obvious, we can easily do it unknowingly.
Here are some very common self-destructive habits that you need to get rid of:
-Not learning from your mistakes
First things first; if you learn from your mistakes, then you would’ve probably dropped those habits already. Everything happens for more than a reason; one of them is learning from our mistakes and gaining new experiences. Everyone makes mistakes, but only the smart ones don’t make them twice.
-Ignoring your wellbeing
Are you living a healthy lifestyle? Is your diet healthy? Do you exercise often? Do you go for regular medical checkups? I’m sure a juicy burger could be tastier than a salad, and being a couch potato is more tempting than hitting the gym, but this is basically you slowly killing yourself.
-Not planning your life
You need to set life goals, and plan how to achieve them. Assess your financial situation and how you’ll deal with it. Have a plan A, B and C. Don’t let your life pass you by without knowing where it’s headed, because you’ll probably hate where it’ll lead you that way.
-Not asking for help
A lot of us think that asking for help is a sign of weakness; it’s not. On the contrary, not asking for help and letting yourself get screwed up is a sign of weakness, and I can guarantee you, it’ll only make you weaker.
-Lying to yourself
Whether it’s a simple “it’ll get better” or something huge, deceiving yourself is the one of the worst thing you could do. You might end up believing your own lie making matters worse. Or you’re totally aware that you’re only fooling yourself, and end up hating the person you have become. If things are not going well and chances are they won’t get better any time soon, be honest with yourself and come to terms with reality.
-Living in the past/future
One of the main reasons of unhappiness is the “what if” mindset and trying to change the past. What might be worse is living in a fantasy of how your future might be like. Stop doing that and think of now. Remember the past, but don’t remorse or cry over spilt milk and think of alternative actions that might’ve rendered different results. Life is not a comic book; we don’t have alternative realities. Think of how to make things better now. As for the future, you’ll never know what will happen, so stop wasting too much time of your precious present thinking about it.
-Thinking of how much you changed
People change, so do you. It’s part of life. You age, mature, things around you change, and so do you. It’s not a bad thing, even when people around you keep dwelling on it. Accept yourself, and your changes. If someone around you doesn’t like it, simply back off till they accept you.
-Alway putting others before you
Sometimes in life you have to be selfish and put yourself first. Thinking of others is great, but not when it’s harming you. Think of yourself. Why help others and not yourself? You’re just as important in this world, and the most important in your own world.
-Taking everything personal
Being over sensitive could be part of your character, and it’s damn near impossible to change. Trust me, I know. You could still change how you perceive things. If someone offended you, try to put yourself in their shoes. It’ll make you see things through their eyes. If you’re unpopular at work, for example, it’s not because you’re incompetent. You’re probably just not fit for the job. Taking things personally is one of the most guarenteed way to self-destruct.