Break ups are tough, but what’s even tougher is “getting back on the horse” whatever that means. We don’t know what is it about break ups that leave us feeling depleted and devastated. We don’t just undergo a break up and then get over it, move on or find someone new. We don’t do that, and people don’t understand why. We make up theories, claiming that it takes half the time of the relationship’s duration to get over someone. We say it will happen when we get involved in a new relationship. At this point, we’d say anything really to believe that the devastation will pass, that we will get better, that we will move on despite the fact that we feel like it will never happen. But the question remains, how do you know you’re ready to date again after you’ve been broken? Well, let us try and guide you and maybe put you on the right track!
1. You feel like you have redeemed yourself
Being by yourself no longer drives you crazy. Remember when you’d just broken up with you partner and you didn’t know what to do with yourself? Any thought of your own company would kill you. You were so used to being with someone all the time, that you didn’t know how to act or what to do now that you were alone. Well, that shouldn’t be the case anymore. You should be comfortable with your own self. In fact, being single should strike you as this easy comfortable thing. It’s only when you’ve reached this stage of self love, that you will be able to move on and invest in someone new.
2. You’re no longer angry at everyone and everything
Losing people can take its toll on us, let alone losing the person we love. When we lose that, we lose hope in everything and start being angry at everything and everyone. Angry at love, angry at life and most of all angry at ourselves for being stupid enough to deliberately choose to love someone, for believing in the notion of love from the beginning. It’s understandable since the person we loved made us lose trust in everyone we know, but that feeling shouldn’t last. Before you venture into a new relationship, you should be able to accept what happened to fully move on, to believe that you can love again, that love isn’t dead.
3. Your ex no longer takes up space in your mind
After a rough breakup, we tend to focus on what happened between us and our ex. We even obsess over him/her all the time. Everything that happens around us is a reminder of how and why they left us. That is normal. Well, for a while. You can’t get in a new relationship while still holding all that baggage of your ex. The relationship would never work. No one’s ready to date someone with lingering feelings for someone else, and you should’t either.
4. You can finally own up to your part in the breakup
Remember when you first broke up with your ex, and you used to blame him for every little thing that went wrong with your relationship? That should be in the past. You should be able to tell where you went wrong. Acknowledging your mistakes is the first step to recovery and moving on.
5. You’re done playing games with your ex
The game that you and your ex had going on has to stop. Trying to make him/her jealous is no longer “cute” or normal. It’s a call for help and it will hinder you from growing, let alone finding another partner. Unless you are ready to put your ex behind with all his/her drama and mind games, you shouldn’t be getting in a new relationship.
6. You’re not rushing
Sometimes, after a break up, the first thing we want to do is find someone new to confide in. It could be for many reasons. It could be because we don’t know how to be alone, or because we want to be the first ones to move on. Either way, this is a big no no. You’re not looking for a relationship; you searching for a rebound and it will probably end up really bad for both you and the poor fella you’ll be sucking with you in your drama.
7. You’re not doing it because you feel like you NEED a relationship
You should be venturing into the new relationship for the right reasons. Because you genuinely like the guy or girl, or because you’re attracted to him or her. You should be fully invested in your new relationship and in it for the long run, not because you need it, because you want it! Because you can’t imagine your life without this amazing new person by your side.
Well, are you ready to date again? Tell us in the comments below!