Types of Ghosters

We’re going to start this article with a very unpleasant fact. A good chunk of us have ghosted for reasons outside of our control. We actually never really know this reason and might never do so. However, we do know one thing about ghosters — there are a lot of them!

“Well, duh, Sherlock,” you might be tempted to say, but hold your tongue for just one moment. We’re aware there are a lot of ghosters but have you ever thought there are types of ghosters?

Yes, the group of people little to no people are fond of have now split into little sub-groups and we’re going to tell you all about them!

The Paper-Clipper

This type, sadly enough, is the most common one out there. We’ll tell you how the Paper Clipper thinks. Usually, they snatch up their victims through a friend (or a friend of a friend, that works too) and charm their way up in real-life interactions.

Then, of course, the texting begins. It starts off as cutely as possible, naturally, then the Paper Clipper notices that you’re getting hooked and takes their cue to disappear. Don’t worry, though, they’ll come back later on after they break up with someone else and find themselves bored.

The 15-20 Business Days Dude

If you’ve never had a job, texting one of these guys will prepare you immensely for the future. See, funnily enough, texting them is never fun because it doesn’t get the chance to be fun.

What happens here is that you text, wait approximately two weeks in which you might think that person died, then you get a very chill reply. Now, of course, this type doesn’t apply to everyone who momentarily disappears because real life does happen, but if this process repeats, just block them.

Sir Flakes-A-Lot

Okay, we’ll admit it. We’ve all forgotten about texting people back and might have gotten a little hesitant about our flirting choices in the past. But we’ve never wiped whole “texting histories” out of our heads — that’s what Sir Flakes-A-Lot does!

Sir Flakes-A-Lot’s favorite track

Forgetting about you might not be his fault entirely. What is his fault, though, is that he keeps trying to come back again like he cannot read the chat history and can’t tell that whatever spark was there has fizzled into bare ashes.

Proud and Upfront

Of everyone we have mentioned here, Proud and Upfront is our favorite because, well, they don’t lie, at least. This type will tell you that they’re infamous ghosters to your face so when you’re finally on that chopping block, it will only be a little sting.

What’s horrible about this type, though, is that they’re kind of incredibly proud about the fact that they can ghost people for a living. Live your truth, by all means, just don’t be crass about it.

The One Who Genuinely Doesn’t Understand Texting

Believe it or not, yes, not every person under thirty is a social media whiz and there are quite a number of people who just don’t get it and don’t really try to do so.

The bad thing about this social media unawareness, though, is that they might not understand its basic tenets like responding back to messages they’ve been sent. Honestly, we recommend they just set reminders at this point.

Remember to proceed with caution, people!