Much of what we believe to be true probably isn’t! Yep, you read this one right. Our beautiful minds take mental shortcuts without us realising it. When we eagerly want to believe something, even if it’s not true, the more we tend to like it, the less risky we judge it, the more popular and prevalent we believe it is true, so our brains can do nothing but obey us. Hence these lies -or to be more sensible these false truths- become our reality.
And what better lie to believe than love? Here are 7 things our brains trick us into mistaking for love:
Trick #1 Attraction
Here is a rule: There is no love without attraction, but there is attraction without love. It’s tricky, that’s why it’s first on the list. Attraction, and not just sexual, but being attracted to someone’s personality, mind or sense of humour… is indeed a good sign, but if that’s all there is, you’re being tricked into thinking it’s love. Love goes steps beyond that.
Trick #2 Attention
Whether it’s flirting or just texting, receiving attention from someone is bound to confuse us, because it will satisfy a part in us that seeks this fundamental need. Attention. You get sad when they don’t call, or their attention diminished, so you translate this feeling into love.
Trick #3 Ideal Partner
Finding someone who meets the description of your “ideal partner” is one hell of a mistake we mix up with love. Sure, the person you love must tick some of your checklist qualifications. But if deep down you don’t feel like you belong with this person, then they are only right for you on paper.
Trick #4 Emotional Hunger
Damn hardest one on the list. It is a primitive condition of pain and longing, so we tend to convince ourselves we are in love with someone, in a desperate attempt to fill a void or emptiness. This emptiness is related to the pain of aloneness and separateness and can never realistically be fully satisfied in a relationship.
Trick #5 Friendship (Comfort)
It’s a hard nut to crack to watch out for the fine line between love and friendship. When you spend so much time with a pal so automatically you start to see each other as the “default” option and become incredibly comfortable with one another, you can easily misinterpret that for love.
Trick #6 Too Good To Be True
Our insecurities play a big part in here. When someone we regard to be much more attractive, popular, funny or worthy than us, looks our way, sadly we fall in the trap. We feel honoured and special just by getting a bit of their time. Even if they are just being nice.
Trick #7 Forbidden Love
Whether it’s someone who is unavailable, from a different religion or who maybe lives far away; we get so overwhelmed by the forbidden nature of it all. So we can’t really tell how we actually feel about that person.
Rather than being an emotion or temporary attraction, love is a constant practice, a discipline that requires learning, development, commitment and sacrifice.