The flirting phase, aka El Tazbeet which comes before any relationship, can be very fun for a lot of people. It’s when all the butterflies inhabit your stomach, and the lovey dovey feelings are all around. However, not all the butterflies have to do with the new feelings you’re having, sometimes it’s because of the anxiety that comes with them…
If a feeling of worry and nervousness controls you while you’re in the flirting phase, then you will definitely relate to the following things…
1- When you first start texting:
Usually, this phase is very entertaining for many people. You’re still getting to know the person you’re crushing on, and they’re still getting to know you too.
But when you’re someone who’s very anxious, you’d take from one to three business days to reply, because even the simplest answers make you think a thousand times.
2- When texting turns into Voice Notes:
There’s no doubt that we all go through the “IS THAT REALLY HOW MY VOICE SOUNDS LIKE?” moment whenever we send anyone a voice message on WhatsApp.
Naturally, if the person that you just sent the voice message to, is someone you like, being an anxious person, you’ll be going out of your mind thinking about deleting it so they don’t have to hear your crappy voice.
3- When you move your WhatsApp conversations to late night calls:
Well, everybody can agree that this might be the most fun about the whole thing. It’s becoming real and you’re getting closer, and also, this is your chance to impress and be impressed.
For an anxious person, it’s NEVER like that! Your anxiety might even drive you to not pick up the phone, just out of the fear you’d say something stupid.
4- First outing:
This one is very nerve wrecking for everyone, anxious or not. You may see the person you’re crushing on 24/7 for example, but when your very first alone outing comes, the struggle of what to wear or what to talk about begins.
Here, an anxious person would be going out of their minds thinking about how to look as nice, and as cute as possible, eating a cheeseburger in front of them.
5- Meeting their friends:
You may already have some common friends that both of you hang out with, and that, without a doubt, is more comfortable. But if you’re about to meet their close friends, that you’ve never seen before, then this IS a big deal!
For a person with anxiety, this is just a NO! They’d rather stay home, than get out of their comfort zone to impress their crush’s friends!
6- Opening Up:
This step is a must, especially if we’re nearing an actual relationship, and opening up could be on the phone, or in an outing. The thing is that in both cases, this one is VERY hard.
After talking and getting too deep into things, an anxious person will go home replaying every little detail and every single word that was uttered.
“Did I say too much?”
“What do they think of me now?”
“I shouldn’t have said this!”
7- When things start taking a serious turn:
After all of the other normal steps into a relationship, the real thing is actually nearing, which is supposed to be expected.
But for someone whose nerves are always on the verge of breaking, they would try to avoid this step for the longest time possible, out of the fear that it would either end too soon, or that they won’t be able to handle it for some reason.
The flirtation phase could be a fun experience, and maybe the most fun. But hey, if it gives you all the anxiety feels in the world, we’re here to tell you, you’re not alone!