By Sandra Henry Khella
When a break up happens, it’s usually the one who gets broken up with who gets most (if not all) of the attention. It makes sense because the one who breaks up does it because he or she is not in love anymore, right?
Well, no, not always.
Lately, a friend of mine had to break up with someone she still loves, and it was the first time for me to see the other side of the story.
Being broken up with is definitely hard especially when you have been doing your best in the relationship and did not see it coming. However, you are not really given a choice. Your partner made this life-changing decision, and now you have to deal with it. Yes, it does hurt and it’s heartbreaking. It’s an obstacle on your path, and you can choose to either break down and fall apart or overcome it and move on.
However, I have decided to share a different point of view. Breaking up can be as heartbreaking as being broken up with, if not more sometimes.
When you are the one having second thoughts about the relationship, you find yourself standing at a crossroad: hurting someone you love deeply or staying with someone you’re not sure is good for you. You still love him and care for him; he’s one of your best friends. However, you know that, romantically, you cannot be together anymore. You feel as if you’re stabbing your best friend in the back when he least expected it. You feel like you’re breaking all your promises. You feel intense loneliness, and you keep getting the urge to text him because he was the one who would wipe away your tears.
And in the midst of all this, you can’t help but wonder how could the right decision make you feel that heartbroken and wanting to shut the world out and lay in bed all day?
Breaking up is rarely a certain decision, and unfortunately, no one has the magical answer. You have to trust yourself no matter what. We tend to think that the one who breaks up is the heartless cold one, but the way I see it, is that breaking up with someone you love is terrible, heartbreaking and scary, but sometimes necessary in order to move on to a happier stage of your life.