We have a tendency to feel guilty towards people about things that are in fact no one’s business but ours. A great deal of our self-image has been fostered by how others perceive us. When we mess up, instead of using up all our time to figure out how to turn things around for our sake, we think of excuses and apologies that will rectify our image in the eyes of the people we love. STOP. We should all stop. Below are things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for.
1- Grieving your way
Grieving and getting by are an art and like art, they come in many forms. No one can tell an artist that their type of art doesn’t suit them; it’s a subjective thing. We all deal with frustration and hurt in different ways; no one should make you feel bad about how you choose to fix yourself. Do whatever helps you feel lighter and eases whatever weight is on your shoulders.
2- Turning down an offer/opportunity/job/etc.
You might say yes to do someone a favour or take on a task that you don’t want just to prove to people you are capable. But you are capable whether you take it or not. It makes you smarter to differentiate between things you want to make time for and things you don’t have time for. You’re absolutely allowed to turn down things if your gut tells you they’re wrong for you, no explanation needed.
3- Cutting toxic people out of your life
Deciding to leave people, places or things behind because they’re toxic is something you should be proud of, not feel guilty about. Not everything is forever and you can’t force relationships and friendships to work. Cutting the toxicity out of your life will help you kick old habits and become one step closer to who you are.
4- Being selfish
Be selfish when you need to be. Put yourself first. It doesn’t matter how kind and empathetic you are as a person, your primary job in life is to take care of yourself. Therefore, investing in your well being is not something you should ever feel apologetic for.
5- Being a mess at this point in your life
Never apologize for being “too much” of anything. You’re young and you’re figuring your life out; it’s hard enough without letting people’s judgements get in your way.
6- Having made mistakes
Embarrassing and disastrous mistakes happen to everyone. If you haven’t made any mistakes in your life, it means you’re not living. Be apologetic when you hurt someone. Be capable of sincerely apologising to those you’ve mistreated. But don’t let anyone make you feel crappy because you’ve made too many mistakes; they don’t define you and neither do your blunders.
7- Changing at any given point
Whether it’s your body, relationships, friendships, priorities or perspectives in life, there is no law that prohibits you from waving farewell to anything in your life at any given moment. Some people won’t acknowledge nor accept the changes you need to make in order to grow, but those closest to you will always understand. You’re allowed to stop wanting what you once wanted and to move forward to new things. Don’t let someone guilt trip you because your new life doesn’t accommodate theirs as much.
8- Liking/Loving whoever you want to
This is a big one because liking or loving whoever you want to is crucial to who you are as a person. If you like people based on what others think, then you will live your life unaware of your deepest desires and wants. People don’t have to understand your choices, as long as you have your own reasons and you’re content with them.
9- Your political views
Politics is a subject that has the power to break friends up and divide families. But, you should never blanket your own opinions in order to refrain from offending others. Your political opinions are yours and just like you have almost no chance of persuading someone to change their political opinions, no one should coerce you to feel bad about your political stance.
10- Speaking your mind
Despite popular opinion, tip-toeing around people’s feelings is not an act of kindness. Using your voice is your Godly given right and no one should ever make you feel ashamed for exercising that right. Raise your head, speak up eloquently and don’t give a damn what people think of your beliefs. Being straightforward is a highly underappreciated trait!
11- Being imperfect
Nobody is perfect; it’s the oldest phrase in all the books. Yet, we’re all still trying to be seen as perfect. Perfection is subjective which is why you should like the things you like and despise what you think is despicable.
Stop seeking other people’s stamp of approval, because their disapproval has no power over you. It’s time we said goodbye to our unnecessary internalized guilt towards others.
