One thing Egyptians are not capable of, even if their lives depend on it, is showing up on time. We don’t know how it happened. It’s just one of those things that has been passed on to us one generation after another. You know how they say that the queen is never late, everyone else is simply early. Well, take that multiply it by 1000 and you got yourself an equation of how Egyptians function on daily basis. That could be disappointing, however, to the small minority of punctual Egyptians some of us are. It really is a struggle for us because being prompt and Egyptian are really mutually exclusive. Which is why we thought of bit*hing about it in this article, so keep an open eye because we’re going to list for you the 10 things that happen to us punctual Egyptians:
1. You consider reaching earlier than everyone by only 30 minutes an accomplishment
You’re so used to being stood up by everyone that when people actually show up after the time you agreed on by only 30 mins, you consider that good news. You actually rejoice at the fact that you didn’t have to desperately sit alone in a cafe for longer.
2. People find it outrageous that you’re only mad at them for standing you up for 1 hour, which only makes you angrier!
Tardiness has become such a norm in Egypt that Egyptians tend to find it extreme that you would get mad at them for such a silly reason as them standing you up for 1 hour or more. That makes you angrier because not only did they stand you up, they also refuse to acknowledge that it’s a wrong behavior to start with.
3. At some point in your life, you tried to conform with the Egyptian society and be late yourself
Admit it. You gave up. You desperately wanted to be “normal” like everyone else. You beat yourself up and swore you would be as late as everyone else, and you really tried, but still failed miserably because punctuality is just in your DNA.
4. You constantly catch yourself fighting the urge to angry text your friends when they are not on time
Well, this one comes with practice. At first, you’d fight with them all the time even before they arrive, because, well, let’s face it, in the 30 minutes they were late, you had plenty of time to call them, cuss them and text the sh*t of that phone of yours. But you learned the hard way that fighting won’t make them come any faster. So you fight the urge to do more than just sit quietly and desperately wait for them to show up.
5. You’ve mastered the art of looking like you’re busy on your phone
During the million times you sat alone desperately trying to look like you’re not pathetic and that your friends didn’t stand you up, you’ve managed to master the act of looking busy doing absolutely mundane uncalled for things like playing with your phone in public.
6. You actually take pride in being 10 minutes late
When you arrive to your destination 10 minutes later than the agreed upon time, you consider it an accomplishment. You catch yourself overtly proud of yourself for saving those 10 minutes or less off the time you’re going to have to wait in for your friends anyway.
7. You keep telling yourself that if your friends don’t show up on time this time, you’ll leave, but you never really do
Sometimes, you get so sick of getting stood up all the time. You think to yourself “I don’t deserve this kind of treatment; I demand to be respected”. You swear that the next time your friends stand you up, you won’t allow it. You’ll just leave. But you never really get up and do it.
8. Even waiters in your go to cafe know you as the person who is always early
You know how waiters like to come and ask “T7eb tetlob 7aga?” and you usually reply back with “La2 walahi mestany 7ad.” Well, if you’re a regular at a place, this question turns into “Lessa bardo magoosh ya fandem?” And you sort of reply back with a yes while trying to hide the rage in your eyes.
9. You have a couple of people whom you call when you’re waiting around for your late friends
Waiting for long times has taught you that time will only pass quicker if you were keeping busy, so you have two or three people whom you call whenever you are stood up. Your mom is usually number one on that list.
10. You’ve accepted the ugly reality that you will always be early and everyone will always be late.
You realized that just as it is not in your blood to be late, it is not in your friends’ blood to be early. Even though you are right and they are not. So you started trying to shift your focus from the constant tardiness of your friends to the good time you will be having once they arrive. At the end of the day, they are your friends and you love them.
Dear Punctual Egyptian, you are a rare breed, so hang in there!
