As a twenty something year old, I like to party, and most people my age do too. The loud music, dance floors, and drinks usually excite young people my age. Over the years, however, the party scene has slowly become a joke! From bad music, to pretentious DJs, dumb door rules, and the list could go on and on.

The obvious main reason why parties suck nowadays is that ANYONE could organize a party. Really! If you have the capital and good connections, you could literally break into any abandoned building and have a party there. You don’t need any ventilation, or even toilets.

Think I’m exaggerating? Nope, I’m only describing a recent actual event that was pulled off by an ex-club. They got us all, almost 200 people, locked in a room that could barely fit 50 people. I almost fainted, and many others did too. The worst part is, people were posting “OMG GREAT PARTY THANKS GUYS” on their Facebook pages. Great what now? We almost died!

Reading comments and feedback about the party made me realize that maybe the organizers aren’t really the ones to blame. No one gives them any negative feedback because everyone is kissing their asses so hard, to the point of being half shoved up their bums. So to cut you some slack, here’s what party attendees really think but don’t want to scratch your precious egos:

Don’t over sell tickets

Yes, some might go crazy when the tickets are sold out. But for the love of beer, don’t start opening the doors for more people! Keep the number of tickets sold relative to the venue’s capacity, please. We’d rather not go, than go and suffocate.

Experimenting with music is great, but not when I’m paying

As a huge fan of ambient and experimental music, I believe that it’s absolutely beautiful. That being said, it’s called experimental for a reason. For every good piece, there are 100 terrible ones. I do want Egyptians to be good at this genre, but almost everyone is doing it now, and they literally experiment on stage and see how it goes. I applaud you for having the guts to play such terrible music for us and get feedback, but that’s not what I paid for. I paid for good music, and you better give it to me!

We really don’t care about the random European DJ you’re bringing

Parties in Egypt

Really. No one cares! He’s not known in his native country. I bet you he’s not even a real DJ! We’d rather get ripped off over nothing  than pay for a random white boy you’re making seem like a legend.

If it’s an open bar event, the bar better have drinks

I just paid over a thousand quid for the ticket to get the maximum number of drinks; it’s part of the deal. I didn’t pay to get one drink, and by the time I go get the second, I find an empty bar. Get your stuff together, guys. You don’t have enough drinks for the crowd, reduce the ticket price a tiny bit, and have people pay for their drinks. Trust me, you’ll make more money.

Your strict door policy makes you look stupid

Parties in Egypt

Having a door policy is absolutely important, but the way people have been overdoing it just makes the club looks desperate to seem “hip.” I’ve literally witnessed a guy, who was coming in late after his friends and had an equal guys to girls’ ratio, what school and university he went to, and what his parents do for a living. How does that matter to anyone at the party?

Invest in a good bathroom

Seriously guys. You make tens of thousands per day, so you might as well let us pee in peace without having to make the “I want to pee dance” in front of every toilet for hours.

©Featured image by JB Photography