Your job as a parent is to prepare your kids for the future. At age 10, they are somewhat independent in terms of making their own choices, decisions and how they should act upon them. You are helping in shaping and developing their personality. That is something that will stick with your child as they grow older and face the harsh realities of life.
Children naturally think about themselves before others. Teaching them about respect is the first step to subtly train them to think about others’ feelings. Your child has to understand from day one that cursing, name calling, yelling and arguing is completely unacceptable. Remember that they follow your example; so doing the same to your child will only make things worse. When you catch your child crossing the line with his sibling or even yourself, you quickly call out his manners “Say it nicely, we don’t talk to each other this way in this family”. Teach your child about manners like saying “please” and “thank you”. By appreciating the other person, this automatically teaches them about respect in a smaller scale. It is very important to respect your child when you correct him. Yelling and showing anger towards your child because of a certain unacceptable behavior will only escalate matters. Like we said, they follow your example.
Sometimes your child makes mistakes like failing a math test or not doing well in a sports match. Don’t tell them that they can do better next time. This will instantly shut them down. Praise them for the effort and hard work they’ve achieved despite the outcome. Always be positive. Knowledge is very powerful, more powerful than a good grade that was attained by learning things by heart. Allow them to learn from their mistakes without getting angry; your child should not be afraid to lose. Learning from their mistakes is way more important than being afraid to make them. If you yell at them for something that they did not willingly do, they will lose confidence and that will be problematic as they grow older.
3. Parents Are Not The Enemy
Make your child feel like they can come talk to you about anything. Avoid yelling and lectures when they tell you something that is bothering them (even if they are 100% wrong). At age 10, kids are already smart enough to know wrong from right. However, what they need from you is guidance. Tell them what you would’ve probably done in a specific situation. Be their friend, not someone they’d be afraid to talk to.
4. 10 Year Olds Should Stand up for Themselves
Teach children to stand up for themselves and speak their mind when they disagree with something. Train them by asking them for their opinion on something (it could be as silly as what they think about today’s dinner). You can even let them choose what they would like to wear. Once they can speak their mind, this will allow them to have their own voice, thoughts and opinions. If you keep telling them what to do and how to do it, you will end up with a child who has no personality.
As you can see, the most recurring improper thing is yelling. Nothing good can ever come from it. Kids follow examples. You are the closest person to your child; your job is to be the primary and the best role model they could ever have.