Hold grudges

‘To hold grudges or to forgive?’ this is one of the many questions people ask themselves whenever they get out of a failed relationship or friendship.

We find ourselves having so many mixed feelings towards the people who used to be part of our lives, the people who harmed us one way or another.

After plenty of self-reflection, I came to the conclusion that ‘to forgive’ is what a person should do. Here is why:

P.S. Forgiving doesn't mean that this person will still be part of your life.

#1: It Helps in Moving on

Many of us struggle with moving on from a failed relationship or a failed friendship, but it’s because we hold so many grudges. We are so hurt that we can’t let it go. We can’t let go of the fact that this person promised to never break our heart, or the fact that they promised to stay forever. But in order for us to finally move on, we need to focus our energy on the healing part and not the hurtful acts.

#2: It Gives You Positive Energy

When you forgive, you free yourself from all the negative energy and thoughts. You free yourself from ‘Why did she hurt me that way?, I never did anything to hurt her’ kind of overthinking. You start thinking positively because now you have more faith in people and in the future.

#3: It Gives You the Chance to Learn

When we are holding grudges, we tend to victimize ourselves. We don’t think rationally about the whole situation, which makes our judgement flawed because we only think about the feelings of anger, hurt and pain. However, in order for us to learn from this situation we need to reflect the right way. When we forgive, we get to have a much clearer picture.

#4: It Makes You Feel Stronger and in Control

Forgiveness is considered to be an act of strength. Because by forgiving people -even those who don’t deserve it- you become in control of your peace of mind. So if you forgive him even though he cheated on you, it doesn’t make you a coward. It makes you a courageous lady with a huge heart, who is ready to move on.

#5: A Sign of Self-love

Forgiving people means that you love yourself enough to not let the toxicity of anyone or any situation affect your life negatively. You admire your own-self to the extent that how bad they treated you wouldn’t make you cry at night. To the contrary, you will be enjoying your own company instead.

#6: You Understand the Difference Between Forgiving and Forgetting

People always confuse between both acts, but when you decide to forgive you pretty much understand the difference between both. You forgive her for talking about you behind your back, but you never forget what she did. You need not to forget, to not fall in the same trap twice.

#6: You Avoid Awkward Situations

You don’t need to always be reminded of how they made you feel whenever you coincidentally bump into them. When you forgive them, you feel exactly nothing towards them.

Eventually I realized that forgiving people makes you more empathetic, a person with a big heart who understands people. And one day, you’ll wish that someone would have forgiven you too, so start with yourself.