By: Yara Tarek
“Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief. You were not meant to live like animals tearing one another to shreds. For your own precious and beautiful life, and for those around you, seek help or get out before it is too late. This is your wake-up call!” Bryant McGill
The repercussions of toxic relationships can be catastrophic because they not only ruin your psychological state, but they can also ruin your physical state. Starting from losing your identity, sense of self-worth, self-love, feeling trapped in a continuous set of roles whether a victim or a culprit, and the roles keep changing over time.
These relationships can also lead to depression, anxiety, disordered eating and sleeping, chronic emotional and mental stress, low self-esteem and self-harm, and may also cause heart diseases, and chronic respiratory disorders.
Don’t feel guilty about leaving, and choosing your own-self, that’s not selfishness, that’s self-love. Don’t feel guilty for not saving them. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter what you do, they need professional help. After making the decision to leave, this is just the beginning of a long journey to recovery, but you’ll get there in time. The following guidelines will help you heal.
1. Surround Yourself with a Support Group
Let people help you, don’t feel like you have to do this on your own. You need people to assure you that you did the right thing, push you forward, inspire you, and stop you from running back to these relationships.
2. Express Your Emotions
Talk about how you feel with friends or a professional. Write it down, draw it, do anything that allows you to express it, even if you want to scream it, scream. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions and grieve the loss.
3. Take All The Time You Need
Don’t rush it, healing takes time. If all you want to do is just lay in bed all day, do it. If you want to eat comfort foods all day, so be it. Do whatever makes you comfortable, don’t stress over not moving-on fast enough, or ask yourself why am I still crying over this? It takes time, so don’t rush things. Don’t jump into another relationship to escape the first one, that won’t help.
4. Find A Purpose
This in particular can be the magical solution that will help you get better with time; to find a purpose, a goal, something you’re passionate about. Look for your purpose and focus your energy on it, you’ll be surprised at how things will start moving along.
5. Practice Self-care and Fall In Love with Yourself Again
Try new things, re-discover yourself, go on dates with yourself, do something you love every day. Write down on a piece of paper all the qualities you love about yourself. Get curious again, visit new places, exercise, meditate, buy yourself gifts, watch movies, read books, do whatever makes you happy.
You think that you can handle it, that you are strong, but it doesn’t work that way. You are confident that you love your partner deeply and that they love you back, but it’s not love if it abuses you.