The worst and most confusing part of any relationship is the initial grey area; when you know you like them, you think they like you back, but no one is doing anything about it or making moves. You know you’re more than just friends, but you still have no concrete proof of that fact.
So, who should make the first move and then any consequent moves once the relationship is set in motion and why? I decided to get the opinions of several people, aged 19-22, by asking them that very question to get the scoop on what each thinks:
“The first move should be made by the guy; it has always been like that. I think, however, the second move should be by the girl or else the guy would just feel unwanted. Any other move in the relationship should be made by the girl,” said Mahmoud Hamed, 19.
“Personally, if I really like a guy and I feel he likes me back, I wouldn’t mind making the first move. I never think anyone “should” or “must” do something; it all depends,” according to Nada Noufal, 22.
“I think both should make it. It really depends on the couple; sometimes the girl is shy and can’t make a move and sometimes the same applies for the guy. So, I guess whichever one is more bold should make the move,” said Omar Oraby, 19.
“I don’t think there’s a rule; it’s not one person or the other’s responsibility. I believe if you’re keen to start a relationship with someone, you should say something. I honestly wish our society was more okay with the woman making the first move and I wish that all of my female friends and I could feel confident about telling guys when we like them,” replied Nour Moataz, 19.
“I think either could make any moves. I should tell you, though, it’s basically every guy’s dream for a girl to make the first move,” stated Karim Refaie, 20.
“Honestly, I think it’s gallant and gentlemanly of a guy to make the first move- for me, it has nothing to do with society’s ideals or anything, but it’s just about how it makes the girl feel when he finally works up the courage to tell her. If a girl, however, wants to make a move then by all means, she should. She just has to make sure that the guy is not sexist and will not think she’s too desperate, because if he does, then he’s not worth it,” according to Ingy Dabbous, 20.
“The way I see it, the guy should make the first move, but only after he feels like things are mutual. I think it’s part of being a gentleman and displaying appropriate etiquette,” said Mohamed Shishtawy, 20.
“I think both can make the first move, but after that, during the chase, I think the guy should make more of an effort. It doesn’t matter who initiates things, as long as the guy does most of the chasing. Us, girls, I think always want to feel wanted, “stated Norhan Medhat, 21.
“In my opinion, either the guy or the girl can make the move. Nowadays, equality of the sexes is being diligently sought and so it no longer really matter who makes the moves. I believe equality should be applied in all matters of life, relationships included,” according to Mostafa Mahmoud, 20.
“I think a girl has to make a small move to make the guy know that she likes him so he can then make an obvious move. I think it gives the guy an incentive to fess up to the girl, it opens the door for him and makes him feel welcome. In the relationship itself, I think both should make moves equally,” said Shahd Hazem, 20.
“I think it depends on the understanding between both parties. They should both put a little effort to show each other that they are somehow interested without one of them being “I’ll be cool” about things,” replied Abdelrahman El Bialy, 21.
“I don’t think it really matters who makes the first move as long as it’s done subtly, without the person initiating things, whether it’s the guy or the girl, coming off to strong,” said Yasmine Badawy, 20
To sum up, I do believe that we live in a day and age where traditional gender roles are constantly being challenged and put to question. Whereas, yes, way back in the day, it was required of the guy to make the first move, now, it doesn’t always work that way. I believe that anyone, regardless of their gender, should feel empowered and free to express their feelings, without any gender norms standing in their way. How one should make the first move, however, well that’s another question that needs to be answered in an article all on its own…