No matter how solid a relationship is, there’s always a risk of breaking-up which makes dating a close friend a bit too complicated. There’s always the concern of “is it really worth it?”
Risking friendship for love has been a debatable topic for ages; even the term “friendzone” originated out of this concept.
When you look around you, you may find couples who had been friends for years before getting together. Alternatively, you might hear someone saying they regret dating a friend because they eventually lost the friendship. What’s even worse is friends getting together, and enjoying a healthy relationship, but missing the old days when they were just friends.
So what’s the equation for this? Is there any? What must a person realise before making the move and risking the friendship? You might want to ask yourself a few questions:.
Are the signs real?
The main problem here could be people misreading the signs. Some people treat their friends so casually without even realising that their attitude might be leading their ‘friend’ on.
Do they make you feel special because you’re a good friend, or because they have feelings for you?
Following up on the signs, we move to the “feel special” part. Do they treat you like they treated their ex? Do they treat other friends like that too? They might only be treating you in a special way because they care a lot about you – as a friend!
Do they share their interest in other people?
Many people like to believe that friends sharing interest in others is only an act of “teasing”. The reality is, they really are interested in other people. Close friends don’t tease each other.
What type of love is it?
You could become very close to someone and have overwhelming feelings for them, which might get quite confusing. Is this general love, or real love?
Do you really have feelings, or is it just peer pressure?
Many people, including myself, start having second thoughts about their feelings for certain people just because others keep dwelling on it.
You’re sure pretty about your feelings, but are you sure about theirs?
Are you 100% sure that they like you back? Assuming you’re sure they do like you, do you realize that there might be a slight chance of them not liking you back? Or maybe they don’t want to be with you, even if they like you?
Now back to the main question, is it worth it?
Do you see a future in this relationship, or do you know it might be ending soon? What is the real gain out of the risky transition from friends to relationship? And most importantly, are you at peace with the fact that you might be losing them forever?
Only after you ask yourself all these questions, you might be able to reach a decision. The most important thing is not to rush it and give it a good thought. Accept the consciousness and know that if they rejected you, it will be awkward, and you might lose them, or at least lose what you have now. If you got together you’ll lose what you have now and there’s no guarantee of what will happen next. It’s a complicated situation, so give it the good thought it deserves!