Nowadays, there’s nothing more common than divorce. Especially in Egypt where divorce rates are rising almost every single day.
But that’s not the issue anymore, because it happens everywhere.
However, what does not particularly happen everywhere is shaming divorced women who get remarried. And one of the few societies where this takes place is – needless to emphasize – Egypt.
On Mother’s day, we thought, why not shed a light on how unfair the Egyptian society is to Egyptian mothers?
And sometimes, it’s not just the society that’s being cruel, judgemental and unfair. It’s her own children too.
Even in Egyptian movies and TV series, we see how easy it is for fathers to remarry. And how children, even if they get upset a little, accept – if not welcome – the situation and rarely ever oppose him.
Although sometimes the fathers maybe the ones who cheat and mess up, ultimately leading to the divorce, still they have the audacity to remarry and then shame their ex wives – whom they’ve initially done wrong – for wanting to do the same.
With that being said, it’s not even odd that the shameful words and judgments usually comes from the ex partners or generally, the men of the society.
But again, what’s odd and extremely unfair is when it comes from the grown up people she’s given birth to.
It would be understandable if a child rejects the idea of his mother remarrying. The reason goes back to the nature of the close relationship between a mother and her kids.
However, when an adult son or daughter sides or even accepts the concept of their father starting a new life with someone else but not their mother, it just doesn’t make sense.
There’s literally only one reason we could think of as to why this commonly happens:
It’s because a mother is a woman, not a man. And the society we’re living in – whether we like to admit it or not – is a male dominant one.
For years and years, women have been fighting the stereotype of being looked down on, in case they get a divorce. Again, even if the divorce is the man’s fault, the ones the society shame just for the mere idea of remarrying, are always the women.
Why is it that sons, specifically, think that it’s a scandalous stigma when their mothers fall in love again after they get a divorce or even after their fathers pass away?
What’s wrong with that? Even God has not forbidden it and nothing ever suggests that a woman who remarries is a prostitute!
Do any of you guys remember your father or someone else’s father threatening their mothers to take away her children BY LAW (or even without it) if she ever gets remarried?
We already know the answer to this question is: Absolutely yes!
And unfortunately, at times, we find that women bow down out of fear and willingly choose to spend their lives alone so their children wouldn’t be taken away.
But is that ever appreciated? No. We simply treat them as if they were doing the norm.
Also, it’s not okay for a ‘strange man’ to raise the kids with the mom but it’s totally fine if a ‘stepmother’ does. Right?
We’re not going to tackle how the law usually stands against women in these cases because that’s old news and just pointless to argue.
But in a very recent Egyptian TV series for instance, there’s a scene that proves our point. Because it does happen, it actually happens every day!
Let’s talk about reasons why women/mothers should be free to remarry without and DESPITE any societal shaming or grownup children’s judgemental attitudes and even, rejection:
1. Mothers are human beings:
Not because she’s your mother and the unfortunate circumstances led to her divorce, then she should spend the rest of her life by herself.
She has rights, she needs love, she needs someone to care for her, and she needs a stable home and life, just like you do because guess what? She’s human too, not a robot!
2. You’ll have your own life:
Even if you try to convince yourself that no matter where life takes you, you’ll never leave her behind. Sorry to break it to you, but you will! This is how life is, so don’t be selfish!
If you don’t already, one day you’ll have your own career, friends, house and most importantly, you’ll have your own family to take care of and she will no longer be a priority.
3. BECAUSE SHE CAN!
We will say this a million times if we must; women and mothers – specifically – should not ever bow down to any societal constraints! If she wants to remarry after a divorce or her husband’s passing, then she does that!
On Mother’s Day, look around, sit back and relive every moment you may have intentionally or even unconsciously stopped your mother from doing something she wants just because you think she was created to be your mother and only that.
Stop thinking about people and yourself for once, and take a stand. This is the best gift or ‘payback’ you could offer her.