Nowadays, thereās nothing more common than divorce. Especially in Egypt where divorce rates areĀ rising almost every single day.
But thatās not the issue anymore, because it happens everywhere.
However, what does not particularly happen everywhere is shaming divorced women who get remarried. And one of the few societies where thisĀ takes place is – needless to emphasize – Egypt.
On Motherās day, we thought, why not shed a light on how unfair the Egyptian society is to Egyptian mothers?
And sometimes, itās not just the society that’s being cruel, judgemental and unfair. Itās her own children too.
Even in Egyptian movies and TV series, we see how easy it is for fathers to remarry. And how children, even if they get upset a little, accept – if not welcome – the situation and rarely ever oppose him.
Although sometimes the fathers maybeĀ the ones who cheat and mess up, ultimately leading to the divorce, still they have the audacity to remarry and then shame their ex wives – whom theyāve initially done wrong – for wanting to do the same.
With that being said, itās not even odd that the shameful words and judgments usually comes from the ex partners or generally, the men of the society.
But again, whatās odd and extremely unfair is when it comes from the grown up people sheās given birth to.
It would be understandable if a child rejects the idea of his mother remarrying. The reason goes back to the nature of the close relationship between a mother and her kids.
However, when an adult son or daughter sides or even accepts the concept of their father starting a new life with someone else but not their mother, it just doesnāt make sense.
Thereās literally only one reason we could think of as to why this commonly happens:
Itās because a mother is a woman, not a man. And the society weāre living in – whether we like to admit it or not – is a male dominant one.
For years and years, women have been fighting the stereotype of being looked down on, in case they get a divorce. Again, even if the divorce is the manās fault,Ā the ones the society shame just for the mere idea of remarrying, are always the women.
Why is it that sons, specifically, think that itās a scandalousĀ stigma when their mothers fall in loveĀ again after they get a divorce or even after their fathers pass away?
Whatās wrong with that? Even God has not forbidden it and nothing ever suggestsĀ that a woman who remarries is a prostitute!
Do any of you guys remember your father or someone elseās father threatening their mothers to take away her children BY LAW (or even without it) if she ever gets remarried?
We already know the answer to this question is: Absolutely yes!
And unfortunately, at times, we find that women bow down out of fear and willingly choose to spend their lives alone so their children wouldnāt be taken away.
But is that ever appreciated? No. We simply treat them as if they were doing the norm.
Also, itās not okay for a āstrange manā to raise the kids with the mom but itās totally fine if a āstepmotherā does. Right?
Weāre not going to tackle how the law usually stands against women in these cases because thatās old news and just pointless to argue.
But in a very recent Egyptian TV series for instance, thereās a scene that proves our point. Because it does happen, it actually happens every day!
Letās talk about reasons why women/mothers should be free to remarry without and DESPITE any societal shaming or grownup childrenās judgemental attitudes and even, rejection:
1. Mothers are human beings:
Not because sheās your mother and the unfortunate circumstances led to her divorce, then she should spend the rest of her life by herself.
She has rights, she needs love, she needs someone to care for her, and she needs a stable home and life, just like you do because guess what? Sheās human too, not a robot!
2. Youāll have your own life:
Even if you try to convince yourself that no matter where life takes you, youāll never leave her behind. Sorry to break it to you, but you will! This is how life is, so donāt be selfish!
If you donāt already, one day youāll have your own career, friends, house and most importantly, youāll have your own family to take care of and she will no longer be a priority.
3. BECAUSE SHE CAN!
We will say this a million times if we must; women and mothers – specifically – should not ever bow down to any societal constraints! If she wants to remarry after a divorce or her husband’s passing, then she does that!
On Motherās Day, look around, sit back and relive every moment you may have intentionally or even unconsciously stopped your mother from doing something she wants just because you think she wasĀ created to be your mother and only that.
Stop thinking about people and yourself for once, and take a stand. This is the best gift or āpaybackā you could offer her.