MODERN FAMILY - "Marco Polo" - The Dunphys move into a cramped hotel room while their house is getting treated for mold and Phil sees this as an opportunity to spend some quality time together but Claire and the kids are less than enthused. Gloria becomes over protective when Manny starts dating an older, popular girl, and Cameron is under a lot of pressure to maintain his team's winning streak but when he realizes Mitchell may be a jinx, emotions run high, on "Modern Family," WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15 (9:00-9:31 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Kelsey McNeal) SARAH HYLAND, NOLAN GOULD, ARIEL WINTER, TY BURRELL, JULIE BOWEN
Guys, if you’ve been constantly losing arguments with your parents, worry not, for we have come up with a number of fool proof methods that you can try (but, if you get kicked out, we’ll let you crash at our office ;))

Stand your ground 

If you think your argument is rationally sound, let nothing deter you. They’ll try to tell you that you know nothing, but don’t let them stop you.
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Don’t waver 

They’ll try to shoot you down, but don’t let that shake you up. They’ll try to guilt-trip you and tell you you’re 2leel adab; don’t let the enemy win!

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Prepare your argument 

Okay, now when shit goes down, you need to know what you’re saying and arguing. Prepare your argument, write a thesis paper, create a Powerpoint presentation with bullet points, pie charts and bar graphs to woe them with your logical reasoning.

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Strategize your attack time 

Your presentation might still not impress them, if they’re not in a good mood. Do something extraordinarily sweet first, disarm them with kindness, then ATTACK.

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Make them feel guilty 

If your parents are still stubborn, give them a taste of their own medicine. Make them feel guilty for all the misery you’re feeling. Remember those Drama classes in school? Act your heart out and play the victim.

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Duck the shibshib and persevere

Be prepared for retaliation. If a shibshib gets thrown your way, duck it and keep going!

Let them have a battle or two  

Okay, you’re still strong, but you kinda need them to win a battle or two. They won’t let you go out today, fine. You can’t study the major you want; just let it go. You’ll be the victor of the war eventually.

Cry

You’ve tried all of the above, but you haven’t tried the magical power of your precious tears. Parents love us unconditionally; weaken them by weeping a little and showing how sad they’re making you.

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Cry some more

A few tears aren’t enough.

Love-and-Other-DrugsAccept all the shatayem

You will hear all the swearwords available in the dictionary. Just know, you have no weapon to defend yourself against them. Accept the shatayem and move on.

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Swim in a puddle of your tears 

Find a safe space to bathe in your own sorrow.

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Realize it’s impossible to win an argument with your parents 

We hate to say it, but it’s time to do like Elsa and let it go.

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We’ve tried ’em all, failed ’em all, and now accepted the fact that it is virtually impossible to win an argument with our parents. They are invincible. If you’ve already tried these methods, you’re probably now a disowned hobo, and in need of shelter. 
  • Harrison Butchart

    Thanks for these tips! I tried them all.

    But I need to crash at your office now………

    Lol