Speak without thinking and your words will cut like a knife. Marriage in general is a huge relationship step, what you say can easily destroy your marriage in the long run.
Comparing Your Spouse
You’re at a wedding, and your spouse hits you with: “Shofti merat Omar betdala3o ezay?” You stepped into the danger zone; we understand that you don’t say that to purposely hurt your spouse, and you think that they might change a specific characteristic that you dislike after comparing them. But this will do more bad than good. You don’t want to break your spouse.
Words That Generalize
Fights in marriage are very common. Using the words: menta “tool 3omrak” bakheel or enty “3alatool” khan2any, “howa enta “kol mara” hate2refny abl manam?” You are technically blaming your spouse for the past, present and future problems. Do not accuse your spouse by generalizing an action he or she does, instead focus on how you feel in that moment and talk about it. Every situation is different.
Degrading Your Spouse
It really is unintentional sometimes but saying things like “heya dee el regoola?”, “enty begad sazga”, “howa ana leh 7assek mabtefhameesh 3amatan?”. Sometimes you feel the need to exaggerate so you could fully express your anger towards a situation. But that will not help your spouse if your goal is to convey what bothers you. Instead, you will let them focus on the negative word you’ve thrown at them.
Regretting Getting Married
You got married for a reason and no one forced you to do this step but you. Again fights are very common—and we understand that you reach a breaking point but it is your job as a wife or a husband to fight for this relationship before completely destroying it. Saying things like “ana leh 3amalt kda fe nafsy”, or “dee akbar 3’alta 3amaltaha f hayaty”, “ana bas fel 3elaka dee 3ashan el 3eyal”, will really only make things more awkward, and you will feel like you are stuck in a loveless marriage. Which is not the case most of the time. Your negative emotions are what make you say these things.
The constant negativity will only burden your relationship, and we tend to over exaggerate our feelings because we want our words to impact them in a way. But if you truly want to save this marriage, msh lazem te3’lat. Communication is the key. Once you start talking and explaining yourselves, you’ll have a chance to hear each other out. Take care of your marriage and make it last forever. It’s never too late.