Mostย books, movies and even real-life stories taught us one thing!! Girls love to be chased and guys enjoy doing it!! If they don’t chase you, they’re just not that into you!! What if you’re a girl who has feelings for someone and he’s not making any moves or have a crush on this guy at college andย you don’t even know his name? What should you do? Howย about you making the first move?
Do guys like it? Hate it? Do they think less of the girl who makes the first move? Or do they actually think it saves them a lot of effort? Does it affect whereย the relationship goes from there?
I had to interviewย a lot of guys to get to understandย their mentality, given that our society is different fromย Western societies. What could be socially acceptableย somewhere, could be far from itย here in Egypt; blame it on how “CONSERVATIVE” we are!!
Firstly, What I did was post thisย Facebook status:”A very random question for guys for an article I’m working on.. Would you appreciate it if theย girl makes the first move? (asks you out/approaches you first/asks for your number/tells you she likes you first…etc.)”. I had a general YES answer from most of them; it wasn’t elaborate though, however there were a lot of likes from girls. This implies that probably Egyptian girls wouldn’t mind making the first move and would likeย to know how it would turnout, or they’re just sick and tired of Egyptian guys who rarely have the guts to take the first move!!
Since the FB status wasn’t very conclusive,ย I had to ask guys on one-to-one basis. Their answers varied.
Guys split into different groups:
1-They would highly appreciate it, whenever, wherever and however it’s done!!
ย “Yes, I would appreciate it very much”-Hussein.G
“I would definitely appreciate it; honesty is everything. Some guys might consider her desperate or might think less of her, however, I would consider her being upfront. I actually get turned off by girls who play hard to get.”-Omar.G.
“I definitely would. I find the whole idea of guys having to approach girls first somehow ridiculous. I would comprehendย it more in some conservative societies though. However, some guys wouldn’t prefer it, but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. It means that just like guys “strike out” approaching some girls, it could happen the other way round as well. I don’t like generalizations!! Not every guy loves the chase and even if they do the girl has to keep them interested later on.”-Mostafa.A.
“I’m a simple guy, if I like a girl but I didn’t get the chance to tell her, then it would be nice to know that it’s mutual. However, sometimes it backfires cause for a girl to go that far, her feelings must be really strong, so, if I don’t feel the same way it will end badly.”-Aly.M.
“It only happened to me twice in my life. I like it, it’s nice how can you break the norm for something that you really want”-Ahmed.M.
“Yes I’d appreciate it, won’t consider it cheap. However, telling him that she likes him wouldn’t be a smart move unless she’s positive that he has a thing for her too”-Aly.F.
“I have been asked out before, and got confessed to about her admiration. That girl was desired by everyone; her beauty and character spoke for themselves. To me, that was something I strongly admired, how bold she was. It didn’t affectย my manhood, infact, it made me feel more desired and worthy”-Amgad.M.
2-They would appreciate it but it depends: If the girl acted decent, if they like her, if she’s pretty.
“It depends on numerous factors. Guys are different; some are shy andย would actually love the idea of a girl coming up and making the first move, others are very traditional and think it would take away from their manhood. You know the saying,’hidden behind the ego of a man is a 14-year-old girl’; that’s the conclusion of how men react to women approaching them”-Mostafa.A.
“Yes, I would. I’m currently in a relationshipย that started that way, but telling me she likes me first wouldn’t be very appreciated”-Mohamed.T.
“If I like her, or if she’s hot then yes. However, if she’s hot but her character ruins her looks then BYE-BYE”-Marc.B.
“Depends on the move, if itโs decent or not”-Mark.A. and Ahmed.R.
3-They would love it only if it’s a one night stand.
“Itโs okay, but I definitely won’t think of her as the future mother for my children”-Mohamed.S.
“Only for one night stands”-Hesham.H.
4-They think the right thing to do is for guys to chase girls, not the other way round.
“I love to make the first move based on the signs and signals she gives me.ย I don’t mind if she did make the first move, however, I prefer to be the one making it”-Ahmed.M.
“I can’t accept “en bent tezabat ma3aya’; I’m the one who has to start”-Omar.T.
“No, I will perceive it the wrong way, regardless of how open the society is. The inner thoughts of mostย guys will automatically perceive it incorrectly. Plus it’s always been the guy who runs after the girl, trying to win her. At the end of the day, a girl is a queen/princess, that a guy has to work hard to get”-Ahmed.E.
These areย only a sampleย of the answers.ย However, I really learned a lot after talking to so manyย guys about it. Guys are different; some appreciate it and even find it courageous, brave and edgy while others just don’tย prefer it. Just like girls, some guys prefer shy girls; others like bold ones. It’s also important that if you take this step and decide to make the first move, you have to be confident about it not in a way that shows that you’re insecure and needy.
It doesn’t really matter if you take the first move or not, as long as you keep them interested later on. Approaching the guys first doesn’t mean that there’s no room for chase or that the chase is over. On the contrary, it’s never about the first move.ย The most important thing is to do what you want to do as long as you make sure you don’t lose your integrity along the way and whatever you do, don’t regret it later. Just be confident about it and be yourself. However, don’t do anything if you’re not totally convinced; if you feel like making the first move, go ahead, if you don’t, then don’t. But, donโt let “what will people think” mentality get to you and hold you back.
