First off, for those who don’t already know what the No Contact Rule is, let me help you out, it is a rule where exes stay as exes and never become friends. It might sound harsh, but that’s why it works, welcome to life!
This rule wasn’t invented because it is awkward to run into your ex, or to avoid bumping into them with their new girl/boyfriend, these are all things that you can deal with. This rule originated to help a broken heart move on. Here is how that happens.
Phase #1 The Jump
A relationship is like a train, the people involved in it are the passengers on this train. When it is a dying relationship, or one that is going nowhere, it is like this train is on full speed, and will soon explode. So the only way to survive the explosion is to jump off the train. Cold turkey.
Phase #2 The Injury
You’ve jumped off a speeding train, so you’ll definitely get some serious injuries, but in comparison to getting exploded, I would go with the cuts and bruises. There will be pain from these fresh wounds, aching feelings, your eyes will keep following the train, regretting jumping, regretting leaving what’s convenient and choosing misery. That’s okay. Deep down, you must know you’ve take the right decision.
Phase #3 The Detox
Love is the most dangerous drug ever to exist, so in order to cure yourself from a past relationship, you must go into detox. Here comes the No Contact rule. Have you ever heard of a drug addict who went into the detox room with his favourite drugs in their bag? What’s the point then? No contact! You must give yourself a chance to nurse your wounds, away from the person who caused them.
Phase #4 The Healing
Healing is a stage away from recovering. Your wounds aren’t that dangerous anymore but they are still open and will start bleeding at the slightest wrong move. This is when your semi-recovery will fool you, and loneliness will trick your mind into contacting your ex. You must resist this temptation, or we will be back to square one.
Phase #5 The Blank Page
Now you’re back on your feet, and strong enough to keep going with your life. The problem is your life is cluttered with broken memories. So you must turn the page, and start creating new memories that doesn’t involve your ex. The more you see your ex, the more you’ll remember the old times, and you will keep going back to the previous page of your life, this will only cause you pain. So no looking back.
Phase #6 The peace
The new page in your life will start to get crowded with new memories, new people, and you will turn it to start another new page, that will lead into a new chapter, and then a whole new book. Inviting old characters from that old book will only mar your peace, and ignite the war inside you once again. So let the past be, and keep on moving forward.
Phase #7 The New You
At this final phase I think you’re strong enough to hear this. When we love someone and it doesn’t work out, even when we fall for other people, even when we’re happy, we never forget someone who was once a part of us, and that’s okay. In this phase, in order to be able to go on with your life, you must make peace with this past love. Only then will you heal; with a tiny scar, only then will you meet the new you.