“They are too young to get married, I give them a year or two max!” You probably heard that sentence at least once in your life, especially if you’re living in Egypt. Which got me thinking about a couple of things; why do people get married young? Is it always out of love? Is it really bound to end soon? Are they trying to run from their previous life by getting married? Questions, questions, questions, until I got my answers. I gotta say, you’re not going to like them, but here we go.
Excitement for a new Chapter
Whether your life is boring or fun, there’s always this urge of knowing what lies ahead in your life. I call it curiosity, but curiosity leads to knowing something before its time comes. You’ve been living with your parents all your life, under their roof, under their rules, and with their permission to do anything. So it’s kind of normal to want to have your own house and set your own rules, but the problem is, you draw this incredible image of the life you will have living alone, but this image never comes to life the way you pictured it. You forget about the person you will be sharing this life with, and you jump into this new life without really knowing what rules this partner will set for it or how they drew their own picture.
You have tough or strict parents who don’t want to let you do anything they feel even mildly uncomfortable and always made your life a bit harder on you so you can’t wait to move out and have your own place so you could do all the things you weren’t allowed to do. But again, you desperately want to move out from your parents’ house that you forget about choosing the right person to share your new house and life with.
Pressure from the parents
Some Egyptian parents put pressure on their kids, especially girls, to get married young and fast due to our society which forbids girls to date a guy without an official commitment. So you think to yourself ‘what’s the harm in getting engaged, it’s just a ring!’ then bam, before you know it, you’re married with responsibilities to take care of and you start questioning yourself ‘where did my childhood go?’ OR you break up right after the engagement and only then you realize how stupid and fast your decision was. But before you know it, you’re engaged again. And come on, let’s be honest here, you could have kept it a secret, couldn’t you? Keep dating the guy behind your father’s back like you always had, instead of picking marriage as the easiest answer to anything.
Everyone else did!
Not because your girls are getting married one by one, means that you should get married too. And definitely doesn’t mean that you are getting old and “3anesty”. They got married because they’ve been together for a long time, they love each other, they already know each other’s families very well, and they are both ready. If you are not in such a relationship with someone, then there is no reason what so ever to feel left out or behind. It’s not okay to secretly be a little bit jealous that your girlfriends are getting married and you’re still single. Wait for your turn, it will eventually come.
Now here’s what I really want to say to you girls. Please, oh, please, just take your time when making this lifetime decision. It’s not just a party you’re going to throw; it’s picking a person you are going to wake up to everyday. It’s choosing a family you can get along with. It’s making sure that this lifetime partner of yours will forever be loyal to you. It’s about knowing that this is the one person you can’t get through your day without. It’s picking a good father for your children. And it’s choosing a person you know how to communicate with. It’s the biggest decision you will ever get to make so, take all the time you need and don’t let anything or anyone around you affect your decision.