Yes, sometimes, we cause our own misery. It’s true; we can always be the ones adding toxicity to a perfectly healthy relationship for a number of different reasons. You and your partner might very well be cut out for each other, yet you cannot help but sprinkle some unneeded drama all over your relationship. Here are some ways, I’ve noticed, in which we entice ourselves to ruin any chances of success for our relationships:
Over-analyzing Every Single Small Detail
I swear, if people were a bit less uptight and inquisitive about the minutest details regarding everything their partner does or doesn’t do and chill about things, divorce rates will probably plummet to the ground.
Stop wondering why they’re online and not texting you on Whatsapp because, simply putting it, they may need to communicate with other people at that time or maybe they don’t really have anything new to share at that specific moment. Stop wondering why they haven’t complimented your haircut, because maybe they genuinely had a lot on their mind and didn’t notice that you trimmed a couple of centimeters of your hair.
Let all these little details go and move on because, in the larger scope of things, they honestly don’t matter. Avoid picking a fight this time and instead, tease them about it jokingly.
Pretending Things Are Fine While You’re Fuming On the Inside
If something is seriously bothering you about your partner, tell them. Discuss it openly instead of drawing a fake smile on your face and letting things pile up till until one day you explode in their unsuspecting face.
Pretending everything’s fine, when they’re anything but that from your side, is not only futile, but also rather emotionally draining and can lead to a huge fight in the future. Better be honest today than a walking, talking eruptive volcano tomorrow.
Over-thinking Commitment Till You Become Commitment-Phobic
Yes, one can actually create their own commitment issues by obsessing over committing to another person- self-sabotage is real. It’s okay to battle with commitment and always have doubts, but what I can tell you is, you’ll know how things might work out if you actually give them a shot. Don’t be quick to judge from the outside, give your partner a chance and see where the relationship will take you.
Freaking Out When the “Honeymoon” Phase Ends
When all the butterflies caused by the newness of a relationship slightly fade away, you find yourself beginning to worry about things becoming mundane. It’s totally okay, though, for a relationship to mature slowly- keep calm. Don’t start fretting over things becoming boring or routine-like and start thinking of ways to keep everything all the more exciting.
Being a Radiating Ball of Jealousy All The Time
Okay, hold up, maybe a little bit of jealousy can make your partner feel desired, but being completely insane and throwing a fit every time someone so much as remotely looks suggestively at your partner is not okay.
In other words, please try to refrain from picking a fight with them just because they liked another girl/guy’s picture on Instagram.
To sum up, perhaps when you find someone to love, feel comfortable around and generally feel like they tremendously contribute to your overall happiness, it’s best to let go of some of the petty nuisances and not let them ruin what you two share. Just keep in mind that we can sometimes easily get so caught up in our own thoughts, preferences and obsessions that we might let them dictate our actions.