We’ve all been there – caught up in the heat of the moment, engaged in a heated argument that feels like a verbal war. While disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, certain words should never leave your lips during a fight. While fights are temporary, some words remain permanent.
Low Blows and Personal Attacks:
No one wins when the argument shifts from the main issue at hand to personal insults. It’s tasteless to try to win an argument by hitting it where it hurts. Comments on appearance, intelligence, or past mistakes do not define the relationship. Remember, you’re arguing about the problem, not each other.
Bringing up the Past:
A fight is not the time to bring up problems from the past. These past mistakes should remain there, in the past. Reviving past grievances can quickly turn a minor disagreement into a full-blown war. Focus on the present issue and put the past grudges to sleep to avoid long-term resentment.
Ultimatums:
Threatening to end the relationship or make life-altering decisions in the heat of the moment is like playing with emotional fire. Ultimatums rarely lead to positive outcomes and can leave lasting scars on trust and intimacy.
Unnecessary Generalizations:
Throwing comments like “You always” or “You never” can escalate tension and shut down effective communication. Thoughtful things to say can be forgotten in the heat of the moment; generalizing can be hurtful as some accusations can be untrue and uncalled for.
Unfair Comparisons:
Pitting your partner against someone else or comparing them unfavorably to others is a sure way to make them feel unappreciated and insecure. Especially if there’s an ex-partner involved. It’s an unwritten rule to never bring up a previous relationship and its comparisons during a fight, it’s the perfect way to shatter trust.
Remember, the key to a healthy relationship is effective communication, even during a fight. So, the next time you find yourself in a verbal fight, think twice before throwing word bombs that can turn wounds into lasting open scars.
