I Want Her So Bad…In A Good Way!

Dear Om-Adam, 

My problem is that I am engaged to a girl who I love and who loves me as well. We’ve been engaged for almost two years now and we are going to be a married couple in a matter of two months. Of course we’ve had fights like any couple in the world – big ones, small ones. We shout, cry, scream, and then we return to being lovers like before.

That’s not the problem! The problem is that during one of our fights we took a break from one another and every time we took a break, I used to talk to this colleague at work. She’s a good girl and she considers me one of her best friends. We both talked about our ups and downs in our relationships and I noticed that in all the stories she told me, the guys fell in love with her and she “friend-zoned” them. 

Time passed and I realised that I like this girl! I want her so bad – in a good way – but my pride would not allow me to ask her out or express my feelings towards her for two reasons
1- I’m engaged and I love my fiancée
2- I will not be “friend-zoned” no matter what

So here I am now, having strong feelings towards this girl and all I want from her is a kiss. I just want to kiss her. I am not a horny dog and I am not looking at her in a sexual way. She told me how empty her life is and how bad she needs to be with someone… I want to kiss her and I am sure if I do I will feel much better. Tell me: What do you think and what should I do?

Peace and God bless 🙂
Dear Man!
I will state the obvious: you are a Man! You are a human being! This is the core of my reply to you! Human nature is designed in a very simple way – a way that confuses the facts in our heads! Human beings love challenges. Human beings are competitive creatures. Human beings are “animals” in disguise – in a good way!

I have no doubt that you love your fiancée; she is the one you want to get married to and share a home with. Let’s agree that your attraction to that girl at work has nothing to do with your fiancée. Your fiancée is not neglecting you in any shape or form! 

You are attracted to that girl because you are a hunter and she is juicy prey. Most hunters drool over prey that runs and manoeuvres as opposed to a sitting duck that represents an easy catch. When that girl was telling you her stories about all those broken-hearted men, the competitive beast within you awoke from its sleep; you want to be the “best man” by conquering that heartbreaker! 

“To get her to kiss you, you will have to get close to her emotionally and mentally until she is ready to succumb.” 

Why do you want a kiss? Because you want to win her heart! A woman kisses a man she loves and you want that kiss as a trophy from your hunting expedition. To get her to kiss you, you will have to get close to her emotionally and mentally until she is ready to succumb. 

Having explained to you how your mind works and why you feel the way you do, let me tell you that your quest is not of an honourable nature; you are a man – not a male – who is committed to a woman and you should respect that commitment the way you expect her to respect her commitment to you. There will always be temptations on the way and some will be harder to resist than others. 

Who do you want to see when you look in the mirror? A gentleman who is worthy of love and trust? Or a hunter who has a lot of trophies and a big box of lies?

Many people would not consider your “kiss” cheating but this is a question that you need to settle with the real man within you.