Not every girl will win the lottery of life and have her best friend and her boyfriend like each other. Life is unfair and might as well recklessly put you in this distressing position of having your two closest people hating or at least disliking each other. That being said, let’s see how to get you out of this unpleasant situation.

First things first. You must locate the issue; who is the problem? Is it your boyfriend or your best friend who doesn’t like the other one back? Or is it a mutual reciprocated feeling?

Finding who is the source of the problem will help you decide which approach you need to follow to fix the situation.

The second step is to let this person know you are bothered by the situation. Make sure to listen to what they have to say.

If your best friend completely understands that you love your boyfriend and when he/she are mean to him they are hurting you too, but still don’t stop, then they obviously don’t care enough about you. It’s time to get yourself a new best friend. But it might turn out to be that he/she sees that your boyfriend doesn’t deserve you. If so, you need to talk to him or her. Let them know that you’re a big girl and can decide for yourself, but give a thought to what they have to say. It might turn out to be noteworthy.

Same thing applies to your boyfriend. If it’s him who’s causing the trouble, ask him what’s wrong. If his answer is valid, if he doesn’t like your best friend because of the way they treat you, or maybe there is something going on that you can’t see or don’t want to admit, give his words a thought but also inform him that it’s not for him to decide. He doesn’t have a carte blanche to treat your friend badly.

But if he doesn’t like her/him because they don’t get along or because he’s jealous of the time you spend with him/her, that’s not really your problem. Don’t be that girl who ditches her friends for her boyfriend. Your life shouldn’t revolve around one person whether it’s your boy/best friend. If one of them complains about that, it could be a sign of controlling behavior.

Also, remember not to force things out if it’s not working. If you planned a hangout and asked them how they feel afterwards, and still they don’t like each other, don’t push it. You can’t force them to get along; you shouldn’t pressure yourself with this either. It will put a strain on your relationship and your friendship. Either accept the fact that they don’t like each other, or make a choice between them.

It’s a hard decision and one we all dread, but at some point we must do things we don’t appreciate. You deserve someone who will accept and respect your friend or your lover, someone who won’t try to dictate how you spend your time and who you spend it with. If one of them is doing the latter, if any of them try to manipulate you into doing what he or she wants, walk out of that relationship.

Actually, the one who asks you to choose is the one you shouldn’t choose.