“Of course you put on some weight, that’s normal!”
We are aware of that, you know? After all it’s our body. We ask that question hoping to hear something flattering like “No baby you look beautiful to me.”
“I had a really tough day at work, I just need to lay back, relax, and have a cold beer”
Really? You had a bad day? Do you like, have a creature growing inside you or something? No? Then shut up! We are in more need of that cold beer than you are. Unfortunately we are not allowed to drink. So, again, shut up!
“Hurry up! We are late!”
You are dead.
“Don’t make a huge deal out of it!”
We are experiencing all kinds of hormonal changes, if we are crying because we couldn’t take a good selfie, let it slide.
“This pregnancy is hard on me too”
Of course it is. Go say that to anyone in the world other than the person who is ACTUALLY pregnant and going through shit every day!
“Alessandra Ambrossio had a baby but you would never notice since she looks incredibly sexy!”
We are already worried about how we’ll look after having the baby. Unless you are filthy rich and can afford hiring a personal trainer, a chef, and pay for some plastic surgeries, do not mention this ever again!
“You need to relax”
If you still don’t know how annoying it is to tell your partner to relax, you will learn real quick if you’re stupid enough to say it while she’s pregnant.
“Are you still eating?”
Hellooooo!! I’m feeding another person too remember?
“We already discussed baby names before. Pick whatever you want!”
If you’re not going to take the time discussing our baby’s name, then how will we ever decide which nursery he’ll go to or school or what colour his room will be?
“Sorry baby I couldn’t find the cinnamon apple pie you asked for so I got you an apple!”
How is that the same?? Pregnancy cravings are intense. If you return home without what we asked for, do not come home at all!
“Don’t you think this outfit is inappropriate?”
No, I don’t. I’ll wear whatever makes me feel sexy and good. You’re just gonna have to deal with it.